Jokes of the day for Saturday, 20 September 2008
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 20 September 2008 |
Ganesh and the Lotto
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Ganesh for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.
“Oh Ganesh, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.â€
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple. "Ganesh please let me win the lotto. I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.â€Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck. Back to the temple he goes. "My Ganesh, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the voice of God: "Bholaji, buy a lottery ticket first."
There was a farmer who had a b...
There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished."Yeah daddy, yeah daddy," said the little boy.
After a while the boy came into the living where his father was talking with some friends. "Say, Pop," said the boy. "Yes," replied his father.
"The bull just f….ed the brown cow."
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took his son outside. "Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow."
The father went back inside the house. After a while the boy came in and said, "Hey, Daddy."
"Yes, son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He f...ed the brown cow again!"
There was a guy riding through...
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said, "If you fix our car we will do anything you want."
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr."
After thinking for a short while he replied, "Could you hold my camel?"
Vanity Insanity...
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."
The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."
A man and his wife are awoken ...
A man and his wife are awoken at 3am by a knock on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a stranger is asking for a push."Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just a stranger asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No I didn't – it's three in the morning"
"Well you've got a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him."
The man returns to the front door and calls out into the dark "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes the answer.
"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes please," comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?"
"Over here on the swing."
Neil Sutton, Corstorphine
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