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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 20 November 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 20 November 2008

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something “practical” for her birthday.

“Suppose we open a savings account for you?%C Words That Don't Exist

…But Should

 

Ramdumbtious - Cross between being rowdy and not too bright.

Randumb - A foot chase gone bad.

Rawsome - The awesome health benefits of eating raw foods.

Rawtarian - A person that eats only raw foods.

Realicious - Really delicious.

Recomember - Recall, retain in the mind.

Refunable - Something you enjoyed so much you'd do it again.

Re-mail - An e-mail that has probably already made the rounds

once, but you think it is worth a second look.

Rememberize - Remembering and memorizing.

Repettyettyettyettyettyettitive - When you repeat something so

much that you can't stop.

Richpublican - A Republican candidate for office.

Roomatism - Desk clerk malady.

Rowdeo - A canoe paddling competition.

Rundezvous - Running late for a meeting.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

A guy walks into a clinic to h...

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken.

The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood.

She can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy and takes his finger and sucks it.

The guy is so pleased he asks; "Do you think i could have a urine test done?"
#joke
Joke
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (15)

SLIDESHOW #17 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Getting tough...

My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.

One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulders muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, he would extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.

After awhile, he tried 10-pound potato sacks, then 50-pound potato sacks. Finally, he got to where he could lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than a full minute!

Next, he started putting potatoes in the sacks.

#joke
Joke
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (10)

What do you call a donkey with...

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey !

Doug Wilson, Leith
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburgh news.com


The full article contains 37 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

  • #joke
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Arthritis

A drun...

Arthritis

A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of whiskey was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bathing."

The drunk muttered his response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

#joke #beer
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

What do you get if you cross t...

What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Half-way.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Answering Machine Message 108


Hello, this is the Computer Music Research Institute of Portland, Oregon. We can't take your call at the moment, but we would like you to leave a critique of one of our current works in progress. BEEP





#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

What do you call it

What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke
  • Currently 7.60/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (5)

Hot Doggin'

Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?

A: Sparky!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (4)

Differe...

Differences Between You and Your Boss

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 August 2008
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

A guy goes to pick up his date...

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a BAD case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure.

At that time, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks "great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts.

Finally, the woman yells "Damn, Spot, get down before he shits on you."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 08 August 2008
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (8)

The doorbell rings. A man open...

The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there's his mother-in-law on the front step.
She asks, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
The man says, "Sure you can." And he closes the door.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Flying Her Broom

A witch was flying her broom along when she noticed that all the other witches were flying on vacuum cleaners.
She thought, "Am I the only one still driving a stick?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Rider

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting.
Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go?
The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round ... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was.
The second was a blonde lady who quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders.
The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders.
The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long.
The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left.
He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "Riders"?"
The bartender simply smiled and said..."A 'Rider" is when you hit a shot long enough to ride on the golf cart to your ball.    

#joke #blonde
Joke
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

One spelling mistake can destr...

One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word...
"I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

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