Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Saturday, 27 October 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 27 October 2012

Good jokes-You might be a Statistician if

You Might Be a Statistician if...
no one wants your job.
you are right 95% of the time.
you feel complete and sufficient.
you found accountancy too exciting.
you never have to say you are certain.
you may not be normal but you are transformable.
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

There was this little guy sitt...

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears.
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.25/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (4)

SLIDESHOW #73 - Funny Photo Slideshow

The last word...

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes.

Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word."

"Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?"

"It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"

#joke
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Funny video of the day - Red Bull Soapbox Race 2012 Hong Kong

Red Bull Soapbox Race 2012 Hong Kong - Funny vehicles, funny clothes, funny people - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

ID?

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says," ' Bout what?"

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Calamjo

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.61/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (33)

Funny Photo of the day - Playing Tetris gone wrong

Playing Tetris gone wrong - Or just optimal coridor usage? | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (16)

Two Elderly Gentlemen

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail..... When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.
So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started walking home and began to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned... how was it for you?"

Old Men on 34th Street_antique

#joke
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (5)

Family Bible

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, “It's Adam's Suit!”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 September 2012
  • Currently 4.78/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (40)

Chuck Norris can slam a revolv...

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 June 2011
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (52)

A Joke for Kids

Q: Why was Adam a famous runner?

A: Because he was first in the human race.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 December 2010
  • Currently 4.76/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (33)

Two blondes were in a parking ...

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.

The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 30 December 2009
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (64)

A sweet little boy surprised h...

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and he was so proud. Anxiously, he waited to hear the verdict. The grandmother in all her life had never had such a bad cup of coffee. As she forced down the last sip, his grandmother noticed three of those little green army guys were in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army men be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV. 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 27 October 2009
  • Currently 5.86/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (70)

Divorce Letter

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good…!!! I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99… After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 October 2011
  • Currently 5.93/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (57)

If you want a list of Chuck No...

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 October 2011
  • Currently 3.72/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (39)

Family of tomatoes...

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 October 2008
  • Currently 2.71/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (35)

blonde and the computer

Q) How do you know when a blonde has been using a computer?

A) Theres cheese by the mouse and tip-ex on the screen!

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 October 2011
  • Currently 2.77/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (13)

Technology

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"I'm getting a Fax," he explains

#joke
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (5)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.