Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Sunday, 16 December 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 16 December 2012

Hilarious jokes-Reading problem

An eye specialist to a patient: “Read those letters.”
Patient: “Where are they?”
Doctor: “On the board.”
Patient: “Where is the board?”
Doctor: “On the wall.”
Patient: “Where is the wall?”
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Three men...A chicken and a cow...

There were three men traveling together, a priest, a farmer and a lawyer. It was starting to get late and they needed to find a place to sleep. They came across this farm and they asked the farmer there if they could spend the night. He said, "thats fine but my guest room is only big enough for two people, one of you will have to sleep in the barn."

The priest said, "I don't mind sleeping with God's creatures, I will take the barn."

So they all agreed and went to their rooms.

About an hour later there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the priest. "There is a chicken in there that won't stop clucking! I'm sorry but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."

"That's ok," said the farmer, "I'll sleep in the barn, after all, I'm used to it."

So they all agreed and traded places. About an hour later there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the farmer. "I can't stand the odor from that cow in there any more. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."

"Well, I guess that leaves me," said the lawyer.

So he went to sleep in the barn. About an hour later there is a knock at the guest room door and there stands the chicken and the cow.

#joke #lawyer
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

SLIDESHOW #88 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Lawyers on a flight

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

#joke #lawyer
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

Funny video of the day - Goat on a slide

Goat on a slide - Little goats having fun - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (4)

Termite Fun. Yep, Termite Fun.

What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?

Where is the bar tender?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.39/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (18)

Funny Photo of the day - Skateboard christmas tree

Skateboard christmas tree - One more funny christmas tree | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (2)

An Antartian woman came into a...

An Antartian woman came into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Then she started to yell, "Yeah!" "Yeah!" Then five more Antartians came in and started to do the same thing. Then three more Antartians came in, and one of them had a Barney puzzle. The bartender asked one of them, "Why are you yelling 'yeah yeah!'?" Then one responded, "We did this puzzle in three hours and it says 2-3 years."
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (6)

The meat market

A woman goes into a meat market and asks the butcher why his pork chops are $.99 a pound, when the guy across the street is selling his for $.89.

The butcher says: "Well, then, why don't you go over there and buy his?"

The customer replies: "He doesn't have any left."

Meat market, Fred Meyer, store display,

"Well, that's nothing," the butcher says: "when I don't have any, I sell mine for only $0.79!"

#joke
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

LIE DETECTOR ROBOT

Dad buys a LIE DETECTOR ROBOT which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner.”Son, where were you today?” The son says “at school dad.” Robot slaps the son! “OK, I watched a DVD at my friends house!” “What DVD?” “Toy story.” Robot slaps the son again! “OK, it was a %&%*o”Dad yells “What! When I was your age I didn't know what %&%* was!” Robot then slaps the dad!Mom laughs “HAHAHA! He's certainly YOUR son.” Robot then slaps the mom….

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (14)

Chuck Norris can hit you so ha...

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 May 2011
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (15)

Two girlfriends were speeding ...

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Fuck!" cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on?
The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope....yup....."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 24 November 2009
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (63)

There was a blonde driving ...

There was a blonde driving in her car on the highway.She crashed into the car infront of her and a cop came over to her and said mam what is wrong? She said officer no matter where i turn there is a tree if i turn left,right, there is a tree. The officer leaned over and said mam that is your air freshener.

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 16 December 2009
  • Currently 4.12/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (59)

Chuck Norris got his drivers l...

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 16 December 2011
  • Currently 3.47/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (45)

Your car in heaven....

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will depend on your answer."

The first guy walks up and Peter asks him, "How long were you married?"

The first guy says, "24 years."

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?", Peter asked. The guy said, "Yeah, 7 times...but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter.

The second guy said, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year and we really worked it out good."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln."

The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!"

A few days later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk. When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 16 December 2011
  • Currently 7.56/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (43)

Anthony Jeselnik: Christmas Gifts

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance, Baby, all I want from you this year is an Xbox. Thats it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine -- because I got her an Xbox.
#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 16 December 2011
  • Currently 5.49/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (39)

Red truck

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here, muh house is on fahr!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 16 December 2011
  • Currently 5.56/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (27)

A lawyer is standing in a long...

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and asks, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.