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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 10 April 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 10 April 2014

Mine-sniffing dogs

The Army announced this week they are now training mine-sniffing dogs to go to Iraq.

How bad do you have to screw up at obedience school to get that job?

-Jay Leno

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

“If you accidentally ...

“If you accidentally leave your fly down on a promising date, does that count as a Freudian zip?”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #11 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Always on Call

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
‘We need a fourth for poker,' said the friend.
‘I'll be right over,' whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, ‘Is it serious?'

‘Oh yes, quite serious,' said the doctor gravely. ‘In fact, there are three doctors there already!'

Joke of the Day, posted everyday on getfrank.co.nz - Click to see the past weeks worth right here...

#joke #doctor
  • Currently 7.17/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (6)

Funny video of the day - Lucky Driver Survives Head-on Collision with Cement Truck

Lucky Driver Survives Head-on Collision with Cement Truck - Cement truck tipped into car - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.63/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (8)

Hilarious jokes-The resume

Daisy, a resident nurse at the City hospital, was not satisfied with her job, so she resigned. She was confident that she would easily find another job due to the high demand for nurses in her locality.

She sent e-mails with cover letters to several potential employers and attached her resume to each one. A couple of weeks later, Daisy was disappointed as she had not received a single invitation for an interview.

Finally she received a mail from a prospective employer which explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else.

It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetarian burritos recipe."
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.80/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (5)

Funny Photo of the day - Workaholic dad at subway squat

Workaholic dad at subway squat - No free seat - no problem | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.10/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (10)

Like son like father....

Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. The family trooped out to the driveway, and climbed into the car, where he was about to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately headed for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," said the beaming boy to the ol' man.

"Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

#joke
  • Currently 7.29/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (7)

Evaluating Employees


RE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations:
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"I would not allow this employee to breed."
"This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

So Blonde... Taco Bell

She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Chuck Norris invented american...

Chuck Norris invented american flag pants.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 August 2011
  • Currently 4.62/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (13)

Reasonable doubt...

Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder.

There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. "Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room," he says and he looks toward the courtroom door.

The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens. Finally the lawyer says: 'Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquires the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

Answers the representative: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn't."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 April 2011
  • Currently 8.77/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (56)

A plus

A college girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible for her English class and the instructions were that it had to include Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

She was the only one who received an A+ and this is what she wrote:

"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it."

Submitted by Curtis

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 10 April 2010
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (40)

Did You Make A Donation?

At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn't made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volunteer thought, "Why not call him up?"
He calls up the lawyer.
"Sir, according to our research you haven't made a contribution to the United Way, would you like to do so?"
The lawyer responds, "A contribution? Does your research show that I have an invalid mother who requires expensive surgery once a year just to stay alive?"
The worker is feeling a bit embarrassed and says, "Well, no sir, I'm..."
"Does your research show that my sister's husband was killed in a car accident? She has three kids and no means of support!"
The worker is feeling quite embarrassed at this point. "I'm terribly sorry..."
"Does your research show that my brother broke his neck on the job and now requires a full time nurse to have any kind of normal life?"
The worker is completely humiliated at this point. "I am sorry sir, please forgive me..."
"The gall of you people! I don't give them anything, so why should I give it to you!"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 April 2011
  • Currently 6.28/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (39)

Shane Mauss: Crazy Expressions

Expressions are crazy. How about the one, What crawled up your ass and died? Thats a strange one; it means a persons in a bad mood or whatever. It doesnt make any sense. I think that one would be in a worse mood if said thing were still alive.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 April 2012
  • Currently 3.91/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (34)

A motorist caught by a speed c...

A motorist caught by a speed camera received notification of a fine in the mail, plus a picture of his vehicle. Duly impressed, he sent back the notification along with a photo of a $100 note to pay the fine.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 10 April 2010
  • Currently 5.31/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (32)

Mike Vecchione: Private Detective School

I went online to become a private detective. It was a private detective school online, and I paid online. But then I never heard from them again. I thought to myself, I either got ripped off or this is my first case.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 11 March 2012
  • Currently 6.74/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (31)

An old lady, who lived on the...

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg.
As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs.
Several weeks later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.
"Yes," the doctor replied.
"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shimmying up and down that drainpipe!"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

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