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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 29 April 2014

“His head may have be...

“His head may have been 12 inches long, but he didn't use it as a rule.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

Low Bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said “low bridge ahead.”
Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a rock solid “Trucker's Wedgie.”
Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver said, “No officer,… I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”

#joke
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #26 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Hot new doc

Dirty Harry went to a new doctor, only to find that the new doc was a good looking blonde female. He gaped at her and then felt embarrassed.
The lady doctor said, "There's nothing to worry, you are with a professional. I have seen it all before, just tell me your problem and I will check you up."
Dirty Harry thought quickly and said, "My missus thinks that my rod tastes funny."
#joke #blonde #doctor
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

Funny video of the day - Chinese Moving Carriage Illusion

Chinese Moving Carriage Illusion - Ladies in a carriage - unexpectedly - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

How do you expect to get into heaven?

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For heaven's sake, Jimmy, either come in or stay out!'"

#joke
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (3)

Funny Photo of the day - Plastic bag on head - perfect for work safety

Plastic bag on head - perfect for work safety - He is safe now | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (4)

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (3)

Reaching the end of a job inte...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 September 2012
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (2)

Chuck Norris does, in fact, li...

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 May 2011
  • Currently 3.09/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (55)

Salvation by Annoyance

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 April 2011
  • Currently 4.93/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (45)

Can U Read It

Briteesh destraayed avar kantry faar 150 earss. let uss destraay deree laangvedge foryever.... Do yit yand yenjaaay.... :-)

Yeast aar Waist aavar caantry iss da BAIST!!!!!!!!!!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 October 2008
  • Currently 4.13/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (8)

Answering Machine Message 225


(Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence. I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream.) Oh no! Godzilla coming! Please leave name and number at gong and Chan will call back if house still here.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 April 2010
  • Currently 3.47/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (51)

Salvation by Annoyance

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 April 2011
  • Currently 4.93/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (45)

Every time a bell rings Chuck ...

Every time a bell rings Chuck Norris kills a bear.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 April 2012
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (45)

Chicken Gun

Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..
The horrified engineers sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.
Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:
Defrost the chicken..
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 April 2010
  • Currently 7.58/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (40)

Only Chuck Norris can prevent ...

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 April 2011
  • Currently 2.60/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (15)

A couple is trying to have a b...

A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, "Honey, I have great news! We're pregnant, and we're having twins!" The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, "Honey that's wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we're having twins?" She nods her head and says, "Well, I bought the twin pack pregnancy test and they both came out positive!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

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