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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 06 September 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 06 September 2014

I was at my bank today waiting...

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (5)

Sign Your Co-Worker Is A Hacker...

Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.

Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.

When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.

Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.

Mumbled, 'Oh, puh-leeeez!' 295 times during the movie 'The Net.'

Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.

Their video dating profile lists 'public-key encryption' among turn-ons.

Instead of the 'Welcome' voice on AOL, you overhear, 'Good Morning, Mr./Mrs. President.'

You hear them murmur, 'Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor 'I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!'

#joke
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #65 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Introduce lawyers

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.

"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.

Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."

#joke #short #lawyer
  • Currently 4.71/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Best Public Toilets Pranks - Best of Just for Laughs Gags

Best Public Toilets Pranks - Best of Just for Laughs Gags - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.75/10

Rating: 7.8/10 (4)

Blind Man

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut up."

#joke
  • Currently 8.42/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (12)

Funny Photo of the day - Watching the match with a friend

Watching the match with a friend | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.40/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (5)

“On my chicken farm, ...

“On my chicken farm, I own the birds scratching around on the ground in the barn, but I am paying off the ones sitting on the roosts - they are on higher perches.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Humor About Drunk Irishmen


Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he asked the clerk if he might use the men's room. The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third door down the corridor on the left. Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway remembering some of the directions. When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT , opened the door and immediately fell into the deep end of a pool. The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't flush, I'm in here!"
Shamrock
For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.
"Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!"
"Yeah," said Mulvaney. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 17 March 2013
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (9)

Never criticize someone unless...

Never criticize someone unless you walk a mile in his or her shoes, and then when you criticize them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 27 March 2010
  • Currently 6.60/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (42)

Loni Love: All the Holidays

I used to work in an office, and when I worked in an office, I celebrated all the holidays -- Cesar Chavez Day, Labor Day -- just to get a day off of work. It could be KKK Day -- Do I get a day off of work?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 September 2010
  • Currently 2.61/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (71)

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat dea...

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 September 2011
  • Currently 2.75/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (53)

Speech Impediment

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"

"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."

"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"

"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean her speech impediment?"

inquired the first fellow.

"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"

"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 September 2011
  • Currently 5.03/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (39)

A 70-year-old man has never be...

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?"

"Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we -"

His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?"

"Oh," says the man, "we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."
#joke #monday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 September 2008
  • Currently 5.36/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (36)

News Headlines 03


Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 September 2011
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (23)

Jessi Klein: You Look A Lot Like...

This co-worker of mine, who I dont know well at all, comes up to me and goes, Hey Jessi, I dont know if anyones ever told you this before, but you look a lot like Anne Frank. I didnt really know where to put that as a remark. But the worst thing is that my first thought was, Was Anne Frank hot?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 18 October 2010
  • Currently 4.35/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (40)

Gabriel Iglesias: First Thing That Comes to Mind

Ill walk up to a woman, Ill say the first thing that comes to mind: Hey, you hungry?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 October 2011
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (8)

In your lifetime you will find and meet the person

In your lifetime you will find and meet the person who will love you more than anybody you have ever known and will know. They will love you with every bit of energy and soul. They will sacrifice, surrender and give so much that it scares you. Someday you’ll know who that is. Sometimes people realize who it was.
#joke
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

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