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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 25 June 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 25 June 2016

One weekend, the husband is in

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.
"Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost.
His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

I realized I didn't have

I realized I didn't have the necessary binding ingredients to make a cake. For me it was an eggs-essential crisis.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #39 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Over drinks one afternoon a bu

Over drinks one afternoon a buddy of mine and I were discussing former "loves". I told him that I once broke-up with a girl long ago because she had a seemingly incurable speech impediment.
George said, "Jimmy, I'm shocked. I never know you to be one to be prejudiced against handicaps. What was the girl's problem?"
Taking a sip, I paused and reflected. "She couldn't say 'yes'."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Funny video of the day - Best Fails of Week 4 June 2016

Best Fails of Week 4 June 2016 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

The doctor...

A newly hired nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"

She asked another nurse, "Why is he going on like that?"

The experienced nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here."

#joke #short #doctor
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - The Concept Bookshelf Inspired by Superman's Logo

The Concept Bookshelf Inspired by Superman's Logo | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

 Answering Machine Message 223


(Noble, aristocratic voice:) Yes, one million dollars could be yours, IF you leave your name, telephone number, and the reason WHY you want to join the ranks of The Rich and Famous! If this is Ross Perot, Bill Gates, or Michael Jordan, just leave your VISA number and expiration date, and we will definitely get back to you!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Business one-liners 34

Success is the active process of making your dreams real and inspiring others to dream. - James Anders Honeycutt

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than they do.

Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.

Take this job and shove it.

Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.

Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.

That which cannot be taken apart will fall apart.

The 5 P's : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance

#joke
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Animated GIF - I don't think there...

I don't think there... - I don't think there is any spring left in that Spaniel... - link to page gif is posted initially.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Q: Why are blonde jokes so sho

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (9)

“In tensed tennis due

“In tensed tennis duels where temper teeters, some losers fly off the handle!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Some kids play Kick the can. C...

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 June 2011
  • Currently 2.11/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (47)

Computer Problem Report Form

Describe your problem:

Now, describe the problem accurately:

Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

Problem Severity:

A. Minor

B. Minor

C. Minor

D. Trivial

Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up

B. Frozen

C. Hung

D. Shot

Is your computer plugged in? Yes No

Is it turned on? Yes No

Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes No

Have you made it worse? Yes

Have you read the manual? Yes No

Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes No

Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No

Do you think you understood it? Yes No

If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

How tall are you? Are you above this line?

What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.

Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes No

How does this problem make you feel?

Tell me about your childhood

Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes No

Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.38/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (42)

Fred & Saddam

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both look out their windows and see Rubble.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 June 2011
  • Currently 3.37/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (38)

Juston McKinney: Parking Tickets in New York

The first ticket I got in Manhattan I thought was a misprint. Im like, No, this has got to be a mistake. You put a quarter in the meter out there and it runs out, its a $55 fine. Thats a little excessive. Now, I could see it if you parked in a handicapped persons living room, but not for the meter running out. It goes from 25 cents to $55. Thats a 22,000% increase.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (32)

Political Conference

Arriving late for a political conference, the college student asks another student standing by the door, "How long has the candidate been talking now?"
"Half an hour."
"And what is he talking about?"
"That I wouldn't know, he hasn't said."

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (12)

Chicken legs

A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH.

He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him.

He sped up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up.

The man then noticed that the chicken had three legs, so he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm.

The curious man got out of his car and noticed that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?"

The farmer explained, "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm gonna be a millionaire."

"How do they tasted?" asked the man.

"Don't know," replied the farmer, "haven't caught one yet."

#joke
  • Currently 8.65/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (17)

John went to visit his 90-year...

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.
John yelled and said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me get to my car."
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!!!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

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