Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 24 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 24 October 2018

While sports fishing off the F

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Taken at my WalMart 2 AM

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

SLIDESHOW #29 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“When deciding betwee

“When deciding between climbing up or using a tool, choose the ladder.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

 Bird Jokes 05


Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

Q: What do you call a very rude bird?

A: A mockingbird!

Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?

A: In a nest-cafe!

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

A: With it's sparrowchute!

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?

A: Woody Wood Pickle!

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?

A: He didn't give a hoot!

Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?

A: A Macaw!

Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?

A: A mynah bird!

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?

A: A great walkie-talkie!


#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Bribe

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.

"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 30 October 2015
  • Currently 9.38/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (8)

One night, a man on his way...

One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk, down on his hands and knees searching for something under a street light. The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wrist watch had broken loose from his wrist. The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped. "About a half a block up the street," the drunk said. "Why, pray tell," the man asked the drunk, "are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?" The drunk replied, "The light is a lot better here."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 24 October 2009
  • Currently 6.72/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (54)

When Chuck Norris plays Monopo...

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 24 October 2011
  • Currently 3.13/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (52)

A man with no arms and no legs...

A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun.

All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," she says. "I bet you've never been kissed have you?"

The man has to admit, no, he never has, so she bends down and plants a good one right on the mouth.

A few minutes later, another gorgeous babe walks up. "You look like you need a hug," she says.

He agrees that would be nice, she gives him a great one, and walks away. A few minutes later, a drop-dead gorgeous girl walks by. She stops, a sultry
smile on her face and looks down at him.

"Mister," she says, "have you ever been fucked?"

"No," he says with a hopeful grin.

"Well, you are now, The tide's coming in."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 24 October 2008
  • Currently 5.24/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (49)

Damn he can drive!

This guy is on the street corner spitting and cussing.

A little old lady goes and gets a cop, telling him there is a guy spitting and cussing.

Sure enough when the cop come up to the guy he spits and says, "Damn, that guy can drive a car."

The cop tells him to stop spitting and cussing. And then asks him what the problem is.

The man again spits and says, "Damn, that guy can drive a car."

The cops again tells him not to spit and cuss and asks him what the problem is.

The man replies, "I was thumbing a ride when this guy stops and picked me up. He takes off at 100 miles an hour, and I am scared to death.

"As we entered town the guy slows down to about 60 miles per hour and skids into a alley where again he picks up speed.

"Right in front of us are two 18 wheelers parked on either side of the alley with only 4 feet between them.

"I screamed out 'We are going to die!'

"Then right before we were going to crash I looked over and told the guy, 'If you get us out of this I will suck your dick!'"

Again he spits and tells the cop, "Damn, that guy can drive a car."

Submitted by Greg

Edited by The whole team

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 24 October 2011
  • Currently 4.11/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (47)

Two elderly women were out dri...

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 24 October 2017
  • Currently 8.76/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (33)

I was wondering why the ball k...

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 15 October 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Demetri Martin: Rock, Paper, Scissors

I like rock, paper, scissors -- two-thirds. Rock breaks scissors: these scissors are bent, theyre destroyed, I cant cut stuff -- I lose. Scissor cuts paper: this is strips, this is not even paper, this can take me forever to put this back together -- you got me. Paper covers rock: rock is fine, no structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point, just say the word. Paper sucks. It should be rock, dynamite with a cuttable wick, scissors.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 17 July 2010
  • Currently 4.53/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (55)

A man has six children and is...

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home now, 'Mother of six?'"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of four."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 30 April 2017
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (54)

You might be a redneck if ...

You might be a redneck if...

You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You don't think Jeff's jokes are funny.

Your house has a kickstand.

You drive around a parking lot for fun.

Your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents "Ma and Pa".

You have to duct tape your gloves on.

You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.

Someone says they spotted Bigfoot and you go buy tickets to the tractor pull.

You think that Marlboro is a cologne.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 19 September 2011
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (40)

Titanic

Q: What do you get if you cross the atlantic with the titanic?

A: About halfway.

#joke
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.