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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 25 June 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 25 June 2020

How does trial by media usuall

How does trial by media usually work?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Father: What did you get that

Father: What did you get that little medal for?
Ringo: For singing the camp talent show.
Father: What did you get that big medal for?
Ringo: For stopping.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

SLIDESHOW #129 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Jedi coffee

“The coffee the Jedi knight served me wasn't hot enough. It was Lukewarm.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Sea Weed

What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?
Sea-kelp!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Things to do in an elevator

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your saiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, 'Hi Greg. How's your day been?'

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, 'That's mine!'

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, 'Did you feel that?'

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, 'It's okay, don't panic, they open again!'

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, 'Group Hug!' and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, all of you, just shut up!'

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, 'Got enough air in there?'

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, 'Your one of THEM!' and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, 'I have new underware on'.

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, 'This is MY personal space!'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 July 2017
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (16)

 Knock Knock Collection 106


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Juicy!
Juicy who!
Juicy what I just saw!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Julia!
Julia who!
Julia want to come in!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Julia!
Julia who!
Julia want some milk and cookies!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Julie!
Julie who!
Julie you door unlocked?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Juliet!
Juliet who!
Juliet me in or not!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 08 April 2015
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

According to the Knight Rider

According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metalbands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds hasbeen changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey,abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv."; until the agency received thefollowing letter from an Arkansas camper:
Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to tell you it tasted horrible.
The bands are now marked "Fish & Wildlife Service."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 27 December 2014
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Some kids play Kick the can. C...

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 June 2011
  • Currently 2.11/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (47)

Computer Problem Report Form

Describe your problem:

Now, describe the problem accurately:

Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

Problem Severity:

A. Minor

B. Minor

C. Minor

D. Trivial

Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up

B. Frozen

C. Hung

D. Shot

Is your computer plugged in? Yes No

Is it turned on? Yes No

Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes No

Have you made it worse? Yes

Have you read the manual? Yes No

Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes No

Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No

Do you think you understood it? Yes No

If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

How tall are you? Are you above this line?

What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.

Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes No

How does this problem make you feel?

Tell me about your childhood

Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes No

Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.38/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (42)

Fred & Saddam

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both look out their windows and see Rubble.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 June 2011
  • Currently 3.37/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (38)

Juston McKinney: Parking Tickets in New York

The first ticket I got in Manhattan I thought was a misprint. Im like, No, this has got to be a mistake. You put a quarter in the meter out there and it runs out, its a $55 fine. Thats a little excessive. Now, I could see it if you parked in a handicapped persons living room, but not for the meter running out. It goes from 25 cents to $55. Thats a 22,000% increase.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (32)

Walking through Chinatown, a t...

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?" he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me...is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say,'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say Sem Ting."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 14 July 2016
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

Finding Inner Beauty

Preparing for a yard sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift.
Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good.
Shortly after the sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. 'This is a great deal,' he said excitedly. 'It still has the plastic on it.'
Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 December 2017
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

Some people should be thankful

Some people should be thankful that i can control the crazy.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 March 2016
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Some people are good at being in love

Some people are good at being in love. Some people are good at love. Two very different things, I think. Being in love is the romantic part—sex all the time, midday naps in the sheets, the jokes, the laughs, the fun, long conversations with no pauses, overwhelming separation anxiety… Just the best sides of both people, you know? But love begins when the excitement of being in love starts to fade: the stress of life sets in, the butterflies disappear, the sex not so often, the tears, the sadness, the arguments, the cattiness; the worst parts of both people. But if you still want that person by your side through all of those things… that’s when you know—that’s when you know you’re good at love.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 March 2016
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

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