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Jokes of the day for Friday, 22 October 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 22 October 2021

Punishment For Bigamy

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

When a patient regained consci

When a patient regained consciousness after an operation, the surgeon told her: "I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid we're going to have to open you up again. You see, unfortunately I left my rubber gloves inside you."
The patient said: "Well, if that's all it is, I'd prefer you to leave me alone and I'll buy you a new pair."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 04 December 2020
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

SLIDESHOW #30 - Funny Photo Slideshow

When I got home from work E.T.

When I got home from work E.T. was sitting on my roof. I called around for an answer — my lawyer found that someone had put alien on my property.
#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 November 2015
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Pa won't like it....

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 November 2015
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

While the bar patron savored a...

While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating."

"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.

"What are you celebrating?" he asked.

"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."

"How did it happen?"

"I switched cocks."

"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 October 2009
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (80)

A man awoke one evening to dis...

A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said "Are they in your house?" He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. "I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!" Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, "I thought you said you had shot them all!" The man answered, "I thought you said there were no police available!"
#joke #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 22 October 2010
  • Currently 7.02/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (52)

Blonde v. Mosquito

Q: What is the difference between a blond and a mosquito?

A: A mosquito quits sucking after you hit it.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 October 2009
  • Currently 3.96/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (52)

Blonde Restroom Attendant

Q: Why did the blonde quit her job as a restroom attendant?
A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 October 2011
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (40)

Getting to Heaven from the Post Office

A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.
After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven.”
“I don’t know, sir,” the boy replied. “You don’t even know how to get to the post office!”
From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009. Used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 October 2011
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (37)

Come On, Ride the Train

Q: If an electric train is heading north, which way would the steam be coming out?
A: There wouldn't be any. It's an electric train.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 November 2014
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Tractor Salesman

A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his beer.
"What's up, John?" asked the farmer.
"Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop."
"Now John, things could be worse," said Bob.
"How do you figure?" asked John.
"Well, John - you know my ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter. Then, the nasty thing went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me! But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you just know it...my damn pants fell down.
And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you TODAY!"

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 13 November 2017
  • Currently 8.32/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (19)

A man is at work one day when...

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'
The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn't know you were into earrings.'
'Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring,' he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
(I always wondered how this trend got started.)
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 October 2017
  • Currently 8.32/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (19)

One man said to the other...

One man said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 29 November 2010
  • Currently 8.16/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (43)

Juston McKinney: Parking Tickets in New York

The first ticket I got in Manhattan I thought was a misprint. Im like, No, this has got to be a mistake. You put a quarter in the meter out there and it runs out, its a $55 fine. Thats a little excessive. Now, I could see it if you parked in a handicapped persons living room, but not for the meter running out. It goes from 25 cents to $55. Thats a 22,000% increase.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (32)

Rosebuds

The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that.

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.

"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 21 July 2017
  • Currently 8.77/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (26)

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