Jokes of the day for Thursday, 06 January 2022
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 06 January 2022 |
If when swimming you see ro
If when swimming you see a lone shark, pay interest.Helping your father
A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
Why No Luck?
Ole and Lena are driving home from a party one night when Ole gets pulled over for speeding. The officer comes to the window and asks Ole, "Sir, did you realize that you were speeding?"
"No sir," replies Ole, "I had no idea I was speeding."
Suddenly, Lena blurts out, "Yeah you did Ole! You were speeding and you knew it the whole time!"
"Would you be quiet Lena, this isn't the time or the place!"
"Well, you were speeding and now you're trying to lie about it," says Lena.
Ole replies, "Will you just shut up for once, I'm sick of you bossing me around!"
The officer, still standing at the window of the car is surprised at the way Ole is talking to his wife. He asks, "Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you like this?"
"No," she replies, "only when he's been drinking."
10 Things Men Know About Women
10 Things Men Know About Women 1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
8.)
9.)
10.) They have breasts.
Ten Thoughts to Ponder...
Number 10Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT...
America knows exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but they haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe the USA should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
A man was shopping in the men\
A man was shopping in the men's department at Bloomingdale's when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter.He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."
She smiled pleasantly and asked, "And what would you like?"
The man said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly... But what I *need* is a new tie!"
Chuck Norris eats the core of ...
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.Business one-liners 24
Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Entropy has us outnumbered.
Error is often more earnest than truth.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Even if the grass is greener on the other side: they, like you, still have to cut it.
Even paranoids have enemies.
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
A man walks into the psychiatr...
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me?The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”
Hot Horseradish
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful.The guest let out a huge gasp. When he was finally able to speak, he choked out, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passes out a sample of it."April Fools' Day Pranks - Picture This
Take a screenshot of the desktop of Dad's computer, and leave the image open. Sit back and let him freak out for a few minutes, believing the computer is frozen. Stealing people’s electrons
I was arrested the other day for stealing people’s electrons.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
Found on: badjokesbyjeff.tumblr.com
Ted Alexandro: Future Wife
Im single. I often think about my future wife and how lax shes been about getting in touch with me.