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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 20 March 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 20 March 2022

Radioactive cows are a rong

Radioactive cows are a glow bull phenomenon.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

At Which Stage of Labor

My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.
Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #117 - Funny Photo Slideshow

A Scotsman, American, and an I...

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah,that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to my sister!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 May 2016
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Two cannibals

There are two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says, 'Does this taste funny to you?!'

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 April 2016
  • Currently 6.58/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (12)

Vacation

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 24 November 2014
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

Where ya from, Sam?

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.

And with pain in his voice, Sam replied, "The balcony."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2015
  • Currently 8.91/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (46)

A fellow nurse at my hospital ...

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2009
  • Currently 6.91/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (44)

A cowboy rides into town on Fr...

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday how does he do it?

The horses name is Friday
#joke #short #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 20 March 2010
  • Currently 7.03/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (33)

A vertically challenged psychi...

A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 March 2011
  • Currently 6.57/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (30)

One day my friend as...

“One day my friend asked me, how do you take such good care of your saxophone. I responded with tenor, love and care.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 20 March 2014
  • Currently 4.74/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (23)

An elderly couple had dinner a...

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating,the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to anew restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name ofthat flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red andhas thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchenand yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to lastnight?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 20 February 2016
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Grammatically Correct

Which letter is silent in "scent"...
Is it the 'C' or the 'S'?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Deep Thoughts

1. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
3. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
4. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
6. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
7. Was learning to write in cursive really necessary?
8. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
9. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
10. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
11. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
12. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
13. Bad decisions make good stories.
14. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
15. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
16. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
17. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
18. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
19. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
#joke #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 October 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

People Change

My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”

I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”

#joke #short #pun
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 July 2020
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Justice Prevailed

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to represent a long-term client. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney emailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 September 2019
  • Currently 8.22/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (18)

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