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Jokes of the day for Friday, 15 April 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 15 April 2022

Not A Single Person Asked

Not a single person asked if I could run fast in my new shoes today...
Being an adult is stupid.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

So… I beat my boss over

So… I beat my boss over the head with a pie chart. And they charged me with a graph-aided assault.
#joke #short #food #pie
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 04 August 2017
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

My son....

A young punk gets on the cross town bus. He's got spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple & orange. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for the next ten miles.

Finally the punk gets self-conscious and yells at the old man, "What are you looking at you old fart! Didn't you do anything wild when you were young?"

Without missing a beat the old man replied, "Yeah. Back when I was very young and in the Navy, I got really drunk in Singapore & had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son."

#joke #animal #parrot #fruit #orange
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 03 May 2016
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Outdone

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workers.

After several minutes, Morris had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said: "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied: "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."

Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 21 December 2014
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

Wake up call

A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m."

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he'd missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and scream at his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said: "It's 5 a.m. Wake up.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 15 April 2014
  • Currently 8.18/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (88)

Chuck Norris has an ongoing fe...

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck's tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 April 2011
  • Currently 2.39/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (77)

Undercover Clergy

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 April 2009
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (61)

Chuck Norris was born a blonde...

Chuck Norris was born a blonde, but the blood of his victims dyed his hair and beard to a healthy orange.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 15 April 2013
  • Currently 2.54/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (52)

Pun With Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles." "I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?" "Yes, I'm the chip monk."
#joke #animal #fish #food #dinner
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 15 April 2019
  • Currently 8.45/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (38)

The Confession

A man received the following text from his neighbor:
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, and has a long drawn out fight with his wife about her infidelity.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Correction: I meant "wifi", not "wife".

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 19 March 2015
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

21st Century Newspaper

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.".

I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (12)

Another miracle....

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

And the minister says, "Just water."

The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"

#joke #policeman #drinks #wine #alcohol
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 05 December 2016
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (11)

What happened?

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, magnificent house, big car, the love of beautiful woman, then, POW! It was all gone!"

"What happened?," asked the friend.

"My wife found out..."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 November 2015
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

His mother should ...

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'

Mae West (1893-1980)

Picture: Everett Collection / Rex Features

#joke #short #animal #stork
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 January 2015
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

A man and his wife were sittin...

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will”
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 January 2015
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

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