Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Sunday, 24 April 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 24 April 2022

Why the Croutons

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 23 April 2021
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Good grades...

The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said...

"I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades.... somebody is going to get a spanking....".

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 12 May 2016
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

SLIDESHOW #15 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Complete and Finished

There is a subtle but important difference between the words "complete" and "finished."

When you marry the right one, you are complete.

When you marry the wrong one, you are finished.

And if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 January 2015
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

When they are born, we...

When they are born, wee bulls wobble.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 February 2010
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (7)

David Alan Grier: Stopped Smoking Reefer

I stopped smoking reefer because I started thinking, if great men throughout history had smoked reefer, no tellin what would have happened. Like if somebody like Martin Luther King Jr. had smoked reefer, he would have been giving speeches like, I had a dream, but the hell if I could remember what it was about. It was either about freedom or Fritos.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 24 April 2011
  • Currently 4.15/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (84)

Ant and a grasshopper

THE ORIGINAL VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN CANADIAN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Then a representative of the NAGB (The national association of green bugs) shows up on The National and charges the ant with green bias, and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on the Nature of Things with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's not easy being green.

"Jean Chretien makes a special guest appearance on the CBC Evening News to tell a concerned public that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan/Thatcher summers. Sheila Copps exclaims in an interview with Peter Mansbridge that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the Liberals draft the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. John Turner gets his law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal hearing officers that Chretien appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3 PM.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Jean Chretien standing before a wildly applauding group of liberals announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in Canada.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 24 April 2012
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (58)

An office exec was interviewin...

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.
"If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?"
"I'd have to say the living one."
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 24 April 2017
  • Currently 8.43/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (49)

Stuff Happens

Tao: Stuff happens.
Catholicism: If stuff happens, you deserved it.
Protestantism: Let stuff happen to somebody else.
Judasim: Why does stuff always happen to us?
Islam: Stuff happens according to the will of Allah.
Buddhism: The stuff is an illusion.
Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?
Hinduism: This stuff happened before.
Mormonism: This stuff should multiply.
Baha'i Faith: Stuff happens in a progressive manner.
Agnosticism: I'm not sure about this stuff.
Atheism: That stuff about the stuff is all just made up stuff.
Jonestown: Forget about the stuff and just drink the Kool-Aid.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member mytmouse57

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 24 April 2010
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (44)

Gabriel Iglesias: Tear It Up

Im a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 24 April 2010
  • Currently 3.64/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (44)

Can't Do Without It

Duct tape is like 'The Force'...
It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 April 2020
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

Charlie Viracola: Believed in Santa

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.
#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 December 2010
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (43)

I may not be the most important person

I may not be the most important person in your life, but
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 January 2016
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

There was a joke abo...

“There was a joke about fishing I was going to tell you. Oh no, I forgot the line!”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 15 January 2018
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Knock-knock...

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 25 November 2012
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (27)

Roar

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, "ROAR," step, step, "ROAR," all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 August 2015
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.