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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 23 June 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 23 June 2022

Alphonse: goo

Alphonse: good name for a typesetter.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

The birth of Eve

God asks asks Adam how he's doing, - "Well, it's ok but I am abit lonely".

"Ok" God answers. - "Let's do something about it. I can give you the most wonderful and satisfactory being and friend you'll ever need you'll never be lonely again, and you'll have everything you ever need".

"But it means I need your arm and leg to create that being".

Adam ponders and isn't willing to sacrifice his arm and leg. -"Ok" God says again.

"With only your leg, I can make a nice and welcoming partner for you, giving you no grief only happiness"

Adam ponders again - he is rather lonely but really wants his leg.

Adam and Eve

"What can I get for one of my rib bones ?" Adam finally replies

#joke
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #19 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Proper Table Etiquette

Two guys were sitting at the bar. One of them said, “A lady has invited me to brunch tomorrow but I know nothing of proper table etiquette."
“What do you want to know?" asked the other one.
“Well, um… for example what goes better with waffles, red or white wine?”
"Is it too late to cancel?"

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Extra Money

This girl needed some money, so she is doing odd-jobs around her neighborhood. She decides she's not making enough money, so she goes to a rich neighborhood. She walks up to this house and rings the doorbell. The guy answers and tells her she can paint the porch. He gives her a can of paint and $25. When he goes inside, his wife says, "$25! Does she know that the porch wraps all the way around the house?"

"Oh, she'll do fine." the guy says.

An hour later, the doorbell rings. It's the girl. She says, "I'm finished. I even had some extra paint, so I put another coat on."

The guy is surprised. Then the girl says, "Oh, and by the way, that's not a Porsche, that's a Ferrari."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 11 July 2016
  • Currently 4.06/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (16)

If Chuck Norris gave a mouse a...

If Chuck Norris gave a mouse a cookie, it would probably ask for some milk. Then Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick that ungrateful little rodent so hard, it would lose it's appetite for cookies. Permanently.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 June 2011
  • Currently 2.78/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (72)

Some Things You Just Cant Explain

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting hammered.
A man came in and asked the farmer, 'Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?'
The farmer shook his head and replied, 'Some things you just can't explain.'
'So what happened that's so horrible?' the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
'Well,' the farmer said, 'today I was sitting by my cow, milking her.
Just as I got the bucket 'bout full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket.'
'Okay,' said the man, 'but that's not so bad.' 'Some things you just can't explain,' the farmer replied.
'So what happened then?' the man asked. The farmer said, 'I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.'
'And then?' 'Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her.
Just as I got the bucket 'bout full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.'
Man laughed and said, 'Again?' The farmer replied, 'Some things you just can't explain.'
'So, what did you do then?' the man asked. 'I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.'
'And then?' 'Well, I sat back down and began milking her again.
Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.'
'Hmmm . . . ' the man said and nodded his head. 'Some things you just can't explain,' the farmer said.
'So, what did you do?' the man asked.
'Well,' the farmer said, 'I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in . . . Some things you just can't explain.'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 23 June 2017
  • Currently 8.85/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (67)

Gabriel Iglesias: The Only Big Friend Argument

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments -- except one. And that is, who is the biggest? Ill let you know right now, theres only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster -- whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 23 June 2010
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (61)

Nuts

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a buck-fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 23 June 2010
  • Currently 5.51/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (51)

Toothbrush

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Mississippi.

If it would've been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 June 2011
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (48)

Hello, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor...

Patient: "Hello, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, help me, help me, help me! When I do something, I repeat it three times, three times, three times. I'm terribly tired, terribly tired, terribly tired. Although my wife is delighted, delighted, delighted."
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 14 May 2017
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

This is how my week goes

This is how my week goes. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FridaySaturdaySunday.
#joke #short #friday #monday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 03 February 2016
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

When you cry nobody sees your tears

When you cry nobody sees your tears, When you are worried nobody sees your pain, When you are happy nobody sees your smile, But you fart just one time…OMG…
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 30 June 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Life is too short to be serious

Life is too short to be serious all the time.  So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me and i will laugh at you.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 July 2015
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

The Generous Barber

After receiving a beautiful haircut, a doctor asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a doctor,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.” The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a bottle of wine on his doorstep from the doctor.Later that day, a police officer walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the police office asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a police officer,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.” The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a box of candy on his doorstep from the police officer. Later that day, a priest walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the priest asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a priest,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.” The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds twelve priests on his doorstep.
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (12)

After 3 years, the wife starts

After 3 years, the wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child.
Husband: Well don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet diaper and you said, “Honey, go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.”
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 August 2018
  • Currently 7.84/10

Rating: 7.8/10 (19)

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