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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 06 July 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 06 July 2022

Church Bulletin Bloopers: Choirs and Hymns

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
Next Sunday, Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."


The “Over 60s Choir” will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.


The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, “The Lord Knows Why.”


A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
On Wednesday, the Ladies' Liturgy Group will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed," accompanied by the Pastor.
We have received word of sudden passing of Rev. Smith this morning during the worship service. Now let's sing "Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow."


A song listed in the Church Bulletin at the Nazarene Church in Little Rock, Arkansas; in connection with a sermon on God's mantle... "Let's God Mangle Fall on Me."
This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Today's Sermon: “How Much Can a Man Drink?” With hymns from a full choir.

#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

A girl was visiting her friend

A girl was visiting her friend, who had just acquired two new dogs, and she asked what their names were.
The friend responded by saying one was named Rolex and other one was named Timex.
The girl remarked, "Whoever heard of naming your dog something like that?"
"Hellooooo...," answered the friend. "They're watch dogs!"
#joke #animal #dog
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

Friends with an Undertaker

An undertaker can be one of your best friends...
He'll be the last one to let you down.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 May 2019
  • Currently 6.58/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (12)

I'm tired of maintaining

I'm tired of maintaining a state of hypervigilance. You might say ambushed.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 20 May 2017
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Moth inspector

A man walks in his room after work and is suprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.

'Who the hell are you?' he yells.

The naked guy replies 'I'm the moth inspector'

'Oh yeah! what are you doing naked?'

He looks down and exclaims 'Oh my god! I'm too late!'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 July 2016
  • Currently 5.05/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (21)

Lumberyard

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1999. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, sh*t, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."    

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 02 April 2015
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

Porn movies

Why do men like to watch porno movies backward?

They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 July 2011
  • Currently 4.61/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (51)

Price Check on Tampax

When Jane reached the checkout counter, she learned that one

of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when

the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the

store to hear, "Price check on Tampax, supersize please."

As if that was not bad enough, somebody at the rear of the

store misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "thumbtacks."

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the

intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb

or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 July 2010
  • Currently 6.56/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (45)

Cat Jokes 03


Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!

Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?

A: 'Claws.'
Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?

A: A stri-ped!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?

A: A stripey sweater!

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

A: Frostbite!

Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?

A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'
Q: What is lion's favorite food?

A: Baked beings!


#joke #animal #cat #tiger #sheep #lion #zebra #food
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 July 2011
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (38)

It was the middle of the night...

It was the middle of the night. Suddenly there was a loud rapping on the doctor’s door, followed by a groan. The doctor angrily thrust his head out of the window. “WELL?” he shouted.
“No,” moaned the man. “Sick.”
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 July 2010
  • Currently 6.97/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (38)

Bill Hicks: Confusing L.A. Weather

L.A. is a very confusing place, only place I know where you can have, simultaneously, a drought and a flood. Every time you watch the weatherman, he goes, Rained all day, didnt help the drought. Back to you, Tom. I got news for you, folks. If water doesnt solve your drought, youre screwed.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 July 2010
  • Currently 4.34/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (32)

Too Much Time at the

Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.

Husband : (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."

Wife : Have you brought the grocery? Husband : Bad command or filename.

Wife : But I told you in the morning Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife : What about my new TV? Husband : Variable not found ...

Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping. Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied...

Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny? Husband : Too many parameters ...

Wife : It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you. Husband : Data type mismatch.

Wife : You are useless. Husband : It's by Default.

Wife : What about your Salary? Husband : File in use ... Try after some time.

Wife : What is my value in the family. Husband : Unknown Virus

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 05 August 2011
  • Currently 3.96/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (57)

One night at the dinner table...

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
#joke #short #food #dinner #steak
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 November 2017
  • Currently 8.12/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (17)

An elderly gentleman of 85 fea...

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.
"Here's what you do," said the doctor, "start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?" Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" Again he gets no response.
So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
"Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!"
#joke #doctor #animal #chicken #food #dinner #honey
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 09 July 2018
  • Currently 9.38/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (8)

A radio announcer was introduc...

A radio announcer was introducing a record, "The next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, that's a ripe old age, isn't it?"
There was a short pause and then the DJ said, "I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 26 September 2016
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

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