Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Saturday, 19 November 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 19 November 2022

NED: My arms and legs are bubb

NED: My arms and legs are bubbling over!
ED: Huh?
NED: It's true, I have limb-foama!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

If College Students Wrote the Bible:

The Ten Commandments would actually be only five, double-spaced and written in a large font.Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.Reason Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (15)

SLIDESHOW #40 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Slowing Down

You know you've reached middle age...
When you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.38/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (8)

Denounce the devil!

The Priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the Priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of him!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order.

Still the man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know for sure where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 December 2016
  • Currently 8.85/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (20)

Seal at the mechanic

A penguin takes his car to the shop to have it fixed. While he's waiting, he goes into a cool ice cream shop and eats ice cream. Having flippers instead hands, he gets the ice cream all over himself. He's goes back to the auto shop and asks the mechanic what was wrong with his car.

"Well," says the mechanic, "it looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin replies, "It's just ice cream, I swear!!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 September 2015
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (16)

A chicken and an egg are lying...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 19 November 2009
  • Currently 4.81/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (69)

If you spell Chuck Norris in S...

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 19 November 2011
  • Currently 2.53/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (49)

Where is God?

A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately.
So, the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response.So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.
The elder raised his voice and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 19 November 2009
  • Currently 7.11/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (44)

Will you marry me?

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will."

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"

He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."

Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 19 November 2012
  • Currently 8.51/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (37)

Whiskey no worms

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.

After years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets 2 shot glasses, filling 1 with water the other with whiskey.

She gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too.

She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey and the worm dies.

She says "so what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He says "IF I DRINK WHISKEY I WON'T GET WORMS!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 19 November 2009
  • Currently 7.65/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (31)

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot...

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.
Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.
After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax... Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 July 2015
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Gary and Martin were standing...

Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin's penis was twisted like a corkscrew.
"Wow," Gary said. "I've never seen one like that before."
"Like what?" Martin said.
"All twisted like a pig's tail," Gary said.
"Well, what's yours like?" Martin said.
"Straight, like normal," Gary said.
"I thought mine was normal until I saw yours," Martin said.
Gary finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants.
"What did you do that for?" Martin said.
"Shaking off the excess drops," Gary said. "Like normal."
"Shoot!" Martin said. "And all these years I've been wringing it."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 27 May 2017
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

There was this Asian lady marr...

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in esperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast.
The lady got what she wanted.
The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
What were you thinking? Hellooo, her husband speaks English!!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 February 2016
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Employee vs Boss

Employee: "Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?"
Boss: "Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?"
Employee: "Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this firm for over ten years."
Boss: "Yes."
Employee: "I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first."
Boss: "A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time."
Employee: "I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade."
Boss: "Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?"
Employee: "Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!"
Boss: "Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?"
Employee: "Oh, the electric company, gas company, water company and the mortgage company!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 01 June 2016
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

I just need to make it

I just need to make it to 34 and I’ve beaten Jesus at living.

Sarah Millican (May 29 1975-)

Picture: BBC

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 12 March 2015
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.