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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 27 November 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 27 November 2022

Thin Person Struggles

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out...
Good news is I can usually sedate him with three or four cupcakes.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

The Healing Power of Holy Water?

One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen."Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?""Flat on his butt over by the holy water!" the boy informed him.
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #55 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Honest...

An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question."

She leaned forward.

"Mr. Peterson, are you an *honest* lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 December 2016
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

The nightclubbing lifestyle is...

The nightclubbing lifestyle is so incredible, it involves a suspension of disco ball ief.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 March 2011
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (7)

A woman goes into Wal-Mart...

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound Of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the stink bait is$2.50."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 November 2009
  • Currently 5.42/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (64)

The Sharkeisha super falcon pu...

The Sharkeisha super falcon punch is as close as anyone has ever gotten to the force of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 27 November 2013
  • Currently 2.80/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (49)

An old cowboy sat down at the

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 27 November 2018
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (44)

Adam Ferrara: Love This Girl

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 November 2011
  • Currently 5.58/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (31)

Now What? (world's funniest joke)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. .

He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". .

The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." .

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. .

Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" .

This is The "world's funniest joke", as by the THE SCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR THE WORLD’S FUNNIEST JOKE by Richard Wiseman, of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002

The Winning joke, which was later found is based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan

Photo by Rhett Noonan on Unsplash

Happy International Joke Day July the first!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 November 2009
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (24)

A man went to his doctor, seek...

A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.
"When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your butt. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others, in such a fashion as you can't tell which one it is. The aversion is obvious, you won't dare smoke any of them, not knowing which is the treated cigar."
"Thanks doc, I'll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again.
"What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!" answered the doctor.
"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my addiction," replied the patient.
"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded the doctor.
"Well, I don't smoke cigars anymore, but now I can't go to sleep at night unless I have a cigar shoved up my butt."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 November 2016
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Few Kids Jokes

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel.

-----

Q: Why A snail painted an S on the top of his car?

A: So people would say “Look at that S car go!”

-----

Knock knock! Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh--MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

-----

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the moo-vies!

found on http://girltomom.com/a-giggle/funny-jokes-for-little-kids

#joke #pun #kidsjokes #dadjoke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 August 2019
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

Dog Gone Bad

My dog’s name is Minton.
Today he ate my shuttlecock.
Bad Minton!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

Photographic memory

Are people born with a photographic memory?

Or does it take time to develop?

#joke # #pun #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 June 2020
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

A family is at the dinner tabl...

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 04 June 2016
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

A man got really drunk one nig...

A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away. He tried to stand up again but only fell over again. He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air he'd be grand. So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell over again. In the end after falling over lots more he decided to crawl home. When he got back to his house he pulled himself up using the door handle but as soon as he let go he fell over again. He had to crawl up the stairs and managed to fall over onto the bed and fell asleep. When he finally woke up the next morning his wife asked him what he was doing at the pub last night. He denied it but she said, "I know you were there..." he maintained his innocence until "...the barman rang to say you forgot your wheelchair again...."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 23 May 2012
  • Currently 7.05/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (39)

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