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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 22 March 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 22 March 2023

Eating Out

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes" she replies. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable" the husband replies. "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."    

#joke
  • Currently 9.44/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (9)

Family Genetics

The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?”
One student called out, “Wrinkles!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #67 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Run, Sister, Run!

Two nuns are running away from a bear, who is gaining on them. “Do you think we’ll be able to outrun him, Sister?” one of the nuns asks the other.“I don’t have to outrun him, Sister,” said the other nun. “I only have to outrun you.”
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 June 2022
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

A Very Good Reason...

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.

"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is, he replied.... "Breakfast."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 09 April 2017
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Young people had no free time,

Young people had no free time, in the Busy teen Era.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 19 June 2016
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (11)

It doesn't hurt to take a har...

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 March 2017
  • Currently 8.91/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (46)

Growing Tomatoes

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."    

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 March 2017
  • Currently 8.86/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (44)

A small boy is sent to bed by ...

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.five minutes later:"Da..aaad"
"What"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
five minutes later: "Daa....aaad..."
"WHAT!?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
I told you NO! Ifyou ask again I'll have to spank you!"
five minutes later.."Daaaa....aaaad!"
"When you come up to spank me can you bring a drink of water?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 March 2009
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (40)

A prisoner in jail receives a ...

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 22 March 2010
  • Currently 6.87/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (39)

The Jewish Boy and the Muslim Boy

David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation. Ali: I'm getting operated on tomorrow. David: Oh? What are they going to do? Ali: Circumcise me! David: I had that done when I was just a few days old. Ali: Did it hurt? David: I couldn't walk for a year!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 March 2018
  • Currently 8.48/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (33)

Quit Smoking

A young couple had been married for a couple of months, but the man was always after his wife to quit smoking.
One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."
He replied, "But they stunt your growth."
She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied he never had.
Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse?"  

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 August 2015
  • Currently 3.58/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (12)

The first Hangman to...

“The first Hangman to switch to electricity from the traditional cord was a good conductor, with an alternate code of conduct!”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 June 2017
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

The Announcement of My Death

Jerry was sitting down for breakfast one morning when he was astonished to see in the paper an announcment of his own death.
He called his friend at once, "Jim, have you seen the announcement of my death in the paper?"
Jim replied, "Yes, and exactly where are you calling from?"

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.44/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (9)

Cannibals capture three men...

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 March 2015
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Do you know how many middle-aged men ..

Do you know how many middle-aged men go out for a pint of milk and never come home? ... Not enough.

Jenny Eclair (March 16 1960-)

Picture: Chris Watt

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 March 2015
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

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