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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 05 April 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 05 April 2023

In ancient Rome, prostitution

In ancient Rome, prostitution wasn't unusual. It was a whore-denarii sight.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Caramel Jokes

Today is National National Caramel Day (USA). Have a Caramel, or few!

My girlfriend likes to tie me to the bed and cover me in chocolate and caramel
She's a dominatwix

I like my women how I like my coffee.
Medium cold, French Vanilla and Caramel Swirl, Regular.

How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He took a sip of his venti caramel latte before it was cool

My next door neighbour is an ice cream man, he went missing and we eventually found him in the back of his van covered in sprinkles, caramel, crushed oreos, and chocolate flakes
Apparently he topped himself!

#joke #food #chocolate #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

An Audience With the Pope

A man who is an avid golfer finally gets a once-in-a-lifetime chance for an audience with the Pope. After standing in line for hours, he gets to the Pope and says, "Holiness, I have a question that only you can answer. You see, I love golf, and I feel a real need to know if there is a golf course in heaven. Can you tell me if there is?"The Pope considers for a moment, and says, "I do not know the answer to your question, my son, but I will talk to God and get back to you."The next day the man is called for another audience with the Pope to receive the answer to his question. He stands before the Pope, who says, "My son, I have some good news and some bad news in relation to your question. The good news is that heaven has the most fabulous golf course that you could imagine and is in eternally perfect shape.""And what's the bad news?" asks the man."You tee-off tomorrow morning," the Pope replies.
#joke #sport #golf #golfer
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Peruvian Owls

Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs...
It's because they're Inca hoots!

Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Question time....

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time....

"Class," he said, "my name begins with the letter 'M,' and I pick up things....What am I?"

A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."

#joke #mother
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 24 April 2017
  • Currently 8.40/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (20)

A man calls home to his wife a...

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."
#joke #animal #fish #food #honey #sport #fishing
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 05 April 2010
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (56)

First Time in Church

Mrs. Harrison took her three-year-old daughter, Jenny, to church for the first time.
After arriving, the church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles.There was silence in the entire sanctuary until Jenny's voice was suddenly heard, loudly singing: "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you..."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 April 2009
  • Currently 6.45/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (44)

A guy falls asleep on the beac...

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn all over his body.

He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns on his legs.

He was starting to blister and in pain by the time the doctor arrived. To help, the doctor prescribed an IV with saline and electrolytes, asedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The attending nurse was rather surprised by the prescription and asked, "What good will Viagra do him?"

The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheets off his legs."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 05 April 2010
  • Currently 7.86/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (43)

A Collection Of Insults


When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.
3K RAM free, no EMS.
A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.
A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
A 20th century man... The guy has no future.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.
A couple of slates short of a full roof.
A couplet short of a sonnet.
A cup and saucer short of a place setting.
A day late and a dollar short.
A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
A doughnut short of being a cop.
A few beads short in her rosary.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 05 April 2010
  • Currently 4.18/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (40)

Farting parrot

Why should you feed margarine to a farting parrot?
Because – it’s polly unflatulated!
#joke #short #animal #parrot
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (10)

Devil at the congregation

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 19 July 2008
  • Currently 5.86/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (7)

Great Presidents

George Washington was such a great president.
He never blamed any of the country's problems on the previous administration.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (12)

Breakfast Time

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked Dewey, the new husband.
"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.

#joke #short #food #breakfast #drinks #juice #wedding #bride
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 January 2023
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

An old guy in his Volvo is dri...

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his car phone.

"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "Be careful! There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".

"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"
#joke #food #honey
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 April 2009
  • Currently 7.10/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (10)

Shopping trip...

Jennifer watched as the cashier rang up her purchases. "Cash, check or charge?" she asked, after folding the items Jennifer had bought. As Jennifer fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote with you?" the cashier inquired.

"No," she replied. "But my husband, Jeff, refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 13 April 2017
  • Currently 8.90/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (21)

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