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Short jokes - funny one liners (3641 to 3680)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3641 to 3680. |
People are always te...
“People are always telling me to keep my nose to the grindstone, but I'm afraid that will cause me to lose face.”
It's OK to borrow a...
“It's OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.”
Forgery is why some...
“Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse.”
There was a sign han...
“There was a sign hanging in the window of a dry cleaners I passed by. It read: 'So-and-So Dry Cleaners. Working on the same spot for 72 years.'”
There's a glass and a half of...
There's a glass and a half of milk in each Cadbury chocolate block. I'm okay with the milk, it's the glass that worries me. Him: There is one word that wi...
Him: There is one word that will make me the happiest man in the world. Will you marry me?Her: No!
Him: That's the word!
Who Is the Real Virgin?
A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming knowledgeable about the Bible. But one day, she surprised her grandmother by asking, "Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"I'm surprised I'm...
“I'm surprised I'm not musically inclined because as a child my attitude was so bad that I often got my bell rung and was told to sing a new tune.”
A racehorse owner asked his jo...
A racehorse owner asked his jockey why he didn't ride his mount through a hole when it opened up just before the final turn."I tried," replied the jockey. "But it is impossible to go through a hole that is going faster than your horse."
I started a business...
“I started a business breeding chickens, but I'm struggling to make hens meet.”
Grasshopper
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'
The grasshopper looks at the bartender, with a look of extreme confusion on his face, and says, 'You have a drink called Steve?'
Just remember: when you go to...
Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!Ever since I switche...
“Ever since I switched to wrinkle free shirts my laundry issues have been less pressing.”
If you're headed to...
“If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction.”
When an escaped pris...
“When an escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods it was a clear case of criminal in tent.”
Typical Human Resources (HR) Response
'I proposed to my girlfriend last night, who just got promoted to an HR position earlier in the day.'
'That is cool! What did she say?'
She said, 'We will get back to you soon.'
My pet feline fell i...
“My pet feline fell into a bowl of seltzer water yesterday. She's been cat-a-tonic ever since.”
I got arrested at th...
“I got arrested at the Farmers Market for disturbing the peas.”
I took my new girlfr...
“I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink. Entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate.”
A woman phoned her dentist whe...
A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge.""Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."
Kinda Lame
....ya well we are gonna' make like a tree and leaf
Two women were sitting on the...
Two women were sitting on the front porch of the farm house when they saw a rooster chasing a hen. The hen ran straight into the road and was killed by a passing car. One of the women sighed, "How beautiful. She'd rather die."
Converting to the Society of Friends
Rabbi 1: We've got to do something. Many of the young people in our synagogue are converting to the Quaker faith.Rabbi 2: I've noticed that too. In fact, some of my best Jews are Friends!What did the drummer call his...
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? - Anna one, Anna two...
My girlfriend told me to take...
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
Born-Again Hindu
A zealous Christian who was trying to convert a Hindu found himself getting nowhere. "The thing is," argued the frustrated Christian, "you have to be born again!" "But I have been born again!" insisted the Hindu. "And again and again and again ..."My hens are in cages...
“My hens are in cages stacked one above the other - that is why they are called layers.”
To the thief who stole my pill...
To the thief who stole my pillow, know this. I will not rest until I find you. I came home & my dog peed a li...
I came home & my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I am surrounded by fakes. 
