Jokes of the day for Thursday, 12 February 2026
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 12 February 2026 |
Reasonable doubt...
Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder.
There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer says as he looks at his watch. "Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this court room," he says and he looks toward the courtroom door.
The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens. Finally the lawyer says: 'Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquires the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."
Answers the representative: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn't."
Few new short jokes for Friday
I just changed my computer login password to "Alcatraz" and now the "Esc"button won't work?
My wife left me because of my addiction to touching pasta.
Now I’m feeling cannelloni…
I love my job.
Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.
Farmer: What did you say to me?
Wife: You herd.
I am joining a secret society of electrical engineers. They just asked me to step into a large coil with a battery attached.
This is their current induction process.
Does anyone know how to get peanut butter out of hair?
I made myself a sandwich earlier.
When my father died, he wanted his ashes pressed into a record. It was his vinyl request.
I went to the doctor because every time I opened my eyes, I vomited everywhere.
He looked me over and said it was the worst case of see sickness he’d ever encountered.
Top 10 Reasons to Celebrate Easter
10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments."
9. You look really, really good in yellow.
8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.
7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.
6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.
5. It's a good time to check out your neighborhood church and not be noticed.
4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."
2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.
1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?
From EasterHumor.com
The pickle slicer
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for many years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, I did," he replied.
"My God, Bill, what happened?" she asked.
"I got fired," he replied.
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" she demanded.
"Oh... she got fired too."
My Cheating Letters
My girlfriend is furious with me because she found a bunch of hidden letters that revealed I was cheating on her.
Now she refuses to play Scrabble at all.
An elderly man and his wife, v...
An elderly man and his wife, vacationing at a cabin by the lake, were sitting on the porch and reminiscing about their younger years."This is the lake where I learned how to swim when I was a small boy," the husband said. "My father threw me into the water and I had to learn how to dog paddle to get back to the shore or drown. It was sink or swim."
"That was a cruel thing for your father to do," the wife said. "How could a loving father do such a thing to a small child? That must have been a very difficult way to learn how to swim."
"Not really," replied the husband. "Learning how to swim was the easy part. Getting out of that burlap bag first was the hard part!"
Relatives of yours?
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"
"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."
Doctor Doctor Collection 13
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep. Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a woodworm
How boring for you!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bridge
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an electric eel
That's shocking!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python
You can't get round me just like that you know!
Fast birthday party
My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.
It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.
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If you don't get it, read it out loud ... several times if needed.
A Jewish Mother After Hanukkah
A man received two sweaters for Hanukkah from his mother. The next time he visited her, he made sure to wear one of the two sweaters. As he entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"