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Thanksgiving jokes - jokes about thanksgiving day (1 to 15)

Thanksgiving jokes - jokes about thanksgiving day (1 to 15)

Jokes about thanksgiving day. These are the jokes listed 1 to 15.

Christmas in October

On social media I posted, “If anyone mentions Christmas before Thanksgiving, I'm going to delete them!”
The next day, I didn’t have any friends.

#joke #short #christmas #thanksgiving
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SLIDESHOW #7 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Most recent Thanksgiving Jokes - fresh from 2023

What did one pumpkin pie say to the other?
"You wanna piece of me?"

How did you find grandma’s turkey this year?
I just looked next to the gravy.

Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

What did the leftover turkey say?
"Make me a sandwich!"

What’s the difference between a turkey and a chicken?
Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.

Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving tables?
They're a fowl sight.

Find New Thanksgiving jokes from 2023, fresh and corny.

When do you serve rubber turkey?

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey, because he's already stuffed!

What do you call an attractive pilgrim?
A puri-ten!

What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?

Our collection Thanksgiving jokes has jokes collected for many years.

Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread?
It's a crummy job.

What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain?

Why did the turkey stand on stilts?
Because nobody eat flamingoes for Thanksgiving dinner.

What did the turkey say to his real estate agent?
Turn-key only.

I tried a new pie recipe.
Wow, you're a real pie-oneer.

You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving...
when you cut yourself shaving and you bleed gravy!

Not enough Thanksgiving jokes? These jokes were new not so long ago 26 funny new Thanksgiving jokes that were new on 2020!

#joke #short #policeman #thanksgiving #prank
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One more set of Thanksgiving jokes - new from 2023

Why is Thanksgiving a great holiday for gossip?
Because the best part are the side dishes.

Why do turkeys love R-rated movies?
Because they use fowl language.

If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships.

Why are Thanksgiving and Halloween similar?
They both have gobble-ins.

Check more of New Thanksgiving jokes from 2023.

How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie??

What are turkeys most thankful for on Thanksgiving?

What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?

What's Inside a Genie's Turkey?

What did pilgrims use to make cookies?
May Flour!

Check out our collection of new (and old) Thanksgiving jokes.

Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!

Why are Thanksgiving bread jokes always funny?
Because they never get mold.

What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?

What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
Nice to meat you.

Why don’t side dishes tell jokes?
They’re too corny.

What do you call a sad cranberry?
A blueberry.

What’s the best way to keep a turkey in suspense?
You’ll find out at Thanksgiving dinner!

What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.

Need more Thanksgiving jokes? There some Thanksgiving jokes that were new not so long ago Thanksgiving jokes that were new recently

#joke #halloween #christmas #thanksgiving #short
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New 2023 Thanksgiving jokes

What kind of dessert sticks to the wall?
Pie-der Man!

What do you call roasted vegetables that run from the kitchen to the table?
Hustle Sprouts!

Need more Thanksgiving jokes? We have huge Thanksgiving jokes collection

If the Mayflower brought the Pilgrims, what brought their dogs?
The Collie-flower!

What do you call the ghost of a turkey?
A poultry-geist!

Why are turkeys always grumbling?
They’re in a fowl mood!

Has this meat juice been listening to Joe Rogan?
It’s so baste!

How did the turkey get to Thanksgiving?
He rode the gravy train!

Why did the turkey’s dad make him eat nothing but stale bread?
To stuffin’ him up!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
He was trying to convince people he was a chicken!

These used to be plain old cranberries. Now, they’re a flying sauce-er!
(throw cranberry sauce across the room)

#joke #thanksgiving #short
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29 Halloween Jokes to make you laugh hard

Halloween Q/A Jokes

1. Q: Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy?
A: They don't have the stomach for it.
2. Q: Where do spiders do their Halloween shopping?
A: On the web.
3. Q: Who's in charge of the candy corn?
A: The kernel.
4. Q: Why didn't anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula?
A: Because he’s a pain in the neck!
5. Q: What do birds give to trick or treaters?
A: Tweets.
6. Q: What do witches put on to go trick or treating?
A: Mas-scare-a.
7. Q: What did one piece of hard candy say to the other after it helped it escape from being eaten?
A: “Thanks! You're a real lifesaver.”
8. Q: What type of plants like Halloween the most?
A: Bam-Boo
9. Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
A: Because they have no body to go with.
10. Q: What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party?
A: Spare-ribs.

Get more of holiday fun ideas at our Halloween Jokes.

11. Q: Why do skeletons love to drink milk?
A: It's good for the bones.
12. Q: What is a skeleton's favorite snack?
A: A cinnabone.
13. Q: What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern?
A: A plumpkin
14. Q: Who rules the pumpkin patch?
A: The pump-king.

Pumpkin Jokes are importan part of Halloween, but also part of many Thanksgiving Jokes.

15. Q: How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
A: On vine-yl.
16. Q: What to ghosts add to their morning cereal?
A: Booberries
17. Q: What is a ghost's favorite kind of drink?
A: Ghoul-aid.
18. Q: What does a ghost put on his turkey?
A: Grave-y.
19. Q: What kind of cereal does a ghost have for breakfast?
A: Rice Creepies
20. Q: Where do ghosts shop for all of their meals?
A: The ghostery store.
21. Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: To tell which witch is which.
22. Q: What do witches study in school?
A: Spelling.
23. Q: Why did the angry witch leave her broom at home?
A: She didn’t want to fly off the handle.
24. Q: Where do witches park?
A: In the broom closet.

Halloween Knock, Knock Jokes

25. Knock, Knock!
Who's there? Orange.
Orange who? Orange you glad it's Halloween.
26. Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Boo who? Don't cry, it's only Halloween.
27. Knock, knock!
Who’s there? Al.
Al who? Al go home after trick-or-treating.
28. Knock, Knock!
Who's there? Witch.
Witch who? Witch one of you has the candy?

Halloween Statement Jokes

29. Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o'-lantern? It needed to lighten up.

#joke #short #halloween #thanksgiving
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Halloween, Thanksgiving and other Fall Jokes for kids

Halloween Jokes
1. Why did the cows turn into werewolves?
- It was a full moooooon.

2. Where do ghosts go on vacation?
- The boo-hamas.

3. What kind of monster loves disco?
- The boogieman.

4. How do you know a vampire has a cold?
- He starts coffin.

5. What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
- A hot dog.

6. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
- You can see right through them.
Find more about Haloween on Haloween Jokes

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Jack.
- Jack who?
- Jack o’lantern.

2. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Ivan.
- Ivan who?
- Ivan to suck your blood.

3. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Witches.
- Witches who?
- Witches the best way out of this neighborhood?
Knock-Knock and other Haloween Jokes can be found on page Haloween Jokes

Pumpkin Jokes
1. How did the little pumpkins cross the road?
- With the help of a crossing gourd.

2. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
- With a pumpkin patch.

3. How does the pumpkin listen to music?
- On vine-yl.

4. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
- A life gourd.

5. Where do pumpkins hold business meetings?
- In the gourd-room.

6. What happens if you eat too much pumpkin pie?
- You get autumn-y ache.
Pumpkins are importan part of many Haloween Jokes

Fall Jokes
1. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
- Straw-berries.

2. What did the scarecrow say when he lost all his stuffing?
- That was the last straw!

3. What is the cutest of seasons?
- Awww-tumn.

4. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
- Squash.

5. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
- To make up for his miserable summer.

6. Why are dads so good at fall puns?
- Because they’re so corny.

Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Annie.
- Annie who?
- Annie-body want some pie?

2. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Arthur.
- Arthur who?
- Arthur any leftovers?

3. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Pie.
- Pie who?
- Pie love you.

Knock-Knock and other Thanksgiving jokes on Thanksgiving Jokes

Thanksgiving Jokes
1. Why did the gravy get sent to bed early?
- For acting saucy at the table.

2. Why did the turkey get ejected from the basketball game?
- He committed a fowl.

3. Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving band perform?
- Somebody ate the drumsticks.

4. What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
- Yammies.

5. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving?
- The tur-key.

6. What is the most mythical vegetable?
- A uni-corn.

Find more jokes about Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Jokes

Apple Jokes
1. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
- It ran out of juice.

2. Why did the apple pie cross the road?
- It saw a fork up ahead.

3. Why did the apple join the circus?
- He loved the apple-ause.

4. Why did the apple pie cry?
- Its peelings were hurt.

5. What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
- “Leaf me alone!”

6. Why is it hard to work at the apple pie factory?
- They have such a high turnover rate.

#joke #halloween #thanksgiving #short
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Thanksgiving Trio

Three Thanksgiving Jokes:

Last Thanksgiving, I had my chance to do the traditional thing of shooting my own turkey.
Man, you should have seen the people scatter in the meat department.

When everyone at the table takes turns saying what they are thankful for, say,
“I'm thankful I didn't get caught,”
and refuse to say anything more.

Keep your eye off the turkey dressing. It makes him blush!

#joke #short #thanksgiving
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If the Pilgrims Were Alive

In class, the teacher was trying desperately to get the students to think. He asked, “If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?”One student quickly responded, “Their age.”
#joke #short #thanksgiving
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26 funny new Thanksgiving jokes

Q: What happens when you're too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?
A: They turn into blueberries.

Q: What's the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was Thanksgiving Day and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

A first grade class was asked to write a paragraph called "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving."
Little Johnny's began, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

Q: When did the Pilgrims first say, "God bless America?"
A: The first time they heard America sneeze.

Q: What do you call Thanksgiving if you're selfish?
A: Thanks-taking.

My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Q: What did baby corn say to mama corn?
A: Where's popcorn?

Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.

Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
A: Quack! Quack!

Q: Which part of the turkey do drummers prefer?
A: The drumstick, or course!

Q: What's the main ingredient in Thanksgiving bread?
A: May-flour!

Q: Where's the only place that Christmas comes before Thanksgiving?
A: In the dictionary!

Q: What's a pumpkin's favorite sport?
A: Squash!

Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
A: Foul weather!

Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make?
A: Wing, wing.

Q: What's the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: Pilgram.

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.

Q: Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
A: He wanted a light snack.

Q: Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: He lost track of thyme.

Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To try to hatchet.

Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.

Q: If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A: A poul-tree.

Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on a hill?
A: An eggroll.

#joke #thanksgiving
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20 fresh jokes for Thanksgiving 2020

Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A: The G.

Q: Why did the turkey refuse dessert?
A: He was already stuffed.

Q: The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, "Is everything al-right over here?"?
A: "No, everything is all left-over here!"

Q: Why was the turkey asked to join a band?
A: He could bring his own drumsticks.

Q: If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
A: Scholar ships.

Q: What don't you want to wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A white shirt or high-waisted pants.

Q: What do you call the age of a Pilgrim?
A: A pilgrimage.

Q: What kind of key can't open doors?
A: A tur-key.

Q: Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?
A: He sensed fowl play.

Q: What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
A: Finally enough drumsticks for everyone at Thanksgiving.

Q: Why does this Native Indian chief put on a lot of feathers?
A: To help keep their wigwam.

Q: What is the real key to the perfect thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY.

Q: On which side the turkey has got the majority of feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: How will you make the turkey float?
A: You will need a few root beer, two scoops of delicious ice cream, and the turkey.

Q: Is it possible for the turkey to jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because a building cannot jump anyway.

Q: What is the type of vegetable that you would like on this Thanksgiving?
A: Beets me!

Q: What is the type of potatoes that go oui-oui-buzz-buzz?
A: French flies.

Q: Why do the cranberries change red?
A: When they saw the turkey dressing!

Q: At what time the turkey soup can be bad for yourself?
A: In case if you are that turkey!

#joke #thanksgiving #beer
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17 new Thanksgiving jokes for 2020

Q: What happens when cranberries get sad?
A: They turn into blueberries.

Q: Why was the soup at Thanksgiving so pricey?
A: It had 24 carrots.

Q: What kind of 'tude is appropriate at the family dinner?
A: Gratitude.

Q: Why was the turkey put in jail?
A: The police suspected fowl play.

Q: What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish?
A: Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.

Q: Why did Mom's turkey seasoning taste a little off last year?
A: She ran out of thyme.

Q: What did the Pilgrim wear to dinner?
A: A (har)vest.

Q: What can you call your brother who falls asleep after dinner?
A: Your napkin.

Q: What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes?
A: You're on a roll.

Q: What's a running turkey called?
A: Fast food.

Q: Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving?
A: Your close group of Palgrims.

Q: Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner?
A: He was ready for a roast.

Q:On Thanksgiving, what does Dad have in common with an exhausted baseball player?
A: They're both likely to fall asleep between plates.

Q: What's one thing that you'll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving?
A: You'll both be filled with stuffing.

Q:How can you unlock the greatest Thanksgiving experience ever?
A: By making sure to bring the tur-key.

Q: With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what's likely to be the most popular side dish?
A: Masked potatoes.

Q: Why were the beans accused of being jealous of the other side dishes?
A: They were so green.

#joke #thanksgiving
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The Day before Thanksgiving

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."
"Okay," says the butcher, "let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
"That one is too skinny. What else have you got?" says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You'd better give me both of them!"
#joke #thanksgiving
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Count Your Blessings

Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings...
One by one...
As each relative goes home.

#joke #short #thanksgiving
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17 Thanksgiving jokes and quotes

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I couldn't just quit "cold turkey."

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't eat this much!

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She turned to the stock boy and asked, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No, ma'am," he replied. "They're dead."

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? - Peach gobbler!

Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner.
Dad: Why? Is it broken?

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!

Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!

What did the turkey say to the computer?
“Google, google, google.”

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.
Jimmy Fallon

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because it’s already stuffed!

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken.

"What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?"
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?

If Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for?
Their age!

What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
A: I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

#joke #thanksgiving #short #pun
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13 Thanksgiving Jokes and Quotes

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet

“Growing up, Christmas was always about me, and eventually you, when I finally started to enjoy the giving part. But Thanksgiving is always about us.” — Rosecrans Baldwin

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes ... but I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey.”

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.

What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween? Gobble-ins!

Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play.

Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drum sticks!

“If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.” — Frank A. Clark

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

“Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg.” - Tom Swyers

“I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.” - Robert Brault

#joke #halloween #christmas #thanksgiving #short #pun
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