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Short jokes - funny one liners (3721 to 3760)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3721 to 3760. |
One Million Dollars
Two friends are chatting...
"I will give one million dollars to the person who will fulfill my wish."
"What is your wish?"
"That somebody would give me two million dollars."
Not expecting to do well on th...
Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?Smiling confidently, he wrote, "In 1492, none."
A cosmetics company...
“A cosmetics company had to recall its vanishing cream when many of the women using it were reported missing.”
Stealing A Board Game
A thief was arrested for breaking into a Toys "R" Us store and stealing a board game...
He got Life.
The Most Interesting Word In The English Language
The Most Interesting Word In The English Language....Just A Big Mess
After his marriage broke up, my manager became very philosophical. "I guess it was in our genes," he sighed.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Her sign is the one for earth. Mine is the one for water. Together we made mud."
Marriage Certificate
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."
Steinbeck considered...
“Steinbeck considered writing a novel where Adam Trask became a baker. He was going to call it 'Yeast of Eden.'”
Writers Block
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Pencils confused him... "2B or not to 2B?"
I thought becoming a...
“I thought becoming a real estate agent would be easy, but I had a lot to learn.”
Answering Machine Message 199
OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions?
Once there was a Sco...
“Once there was a Scottish thief who stole only valuable, antique tartans. When he was arrested, he plaid guilty.”
He wasn't the most...
“He wasn't the most villainous knight in the realm, but he was medieval.”
I like all track and...
“I like all track and field events but I really get a charge out of the pole volt.”
If Prince William vi...
“If Prince William visits the Alps, is he on a scion vacation?”
A woman is breaking up with he....
A woman is breaking up with her fiance. She tells him, "I can't marry you. My feelings for you have changed."The man says, "OK, I want my ring back."
The woman says, "I can't give it back to you. My feelings for the ring haven't changed".
A wee Belfast boy came home fr...
A wee Belfast boy came home from school in tears."What's the matter, son?" asked his mammy.
"We were doing sums today, Mammy," he said.
"And were they too hard?"
"Well, the teacher said either I either couldn't count, or I was stupid, or maybe all three."
A man working with an electric...
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do.""But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor.
"Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
