Jokes of the day for Friday, 23 January 2026
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 23 January 2026 |
Three older ladies...
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I was taking it out or putting it away."
The second lady said, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs, and I can't remember whether I was on my up, or on my way down."
The third lady chimed in, "Well, I'm glad I don't have those problems. Knock on wood." With that, she rapped her knuckles on the table, then said, "That must be the door. I'll get it."
A man runs to the doctor and s...
A man runs to the doctor and says: "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks: How long was she had this condition?"
"Two years." replies the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the doctor. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies: "We needed the eggs"
Coffee Maker
The newlywed Blonde went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready. A few weeks later the goober was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked the coffee maker.
"Wonderful!" she replied, "But... it's just awfully inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee."
Passing A School Bus
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny."Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction"
I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:
"Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction".
Cast the first stone
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
I don't have to worry
I don't have to worry about getting kidnapped. They would bring me back in less than an hour!
Internet Dating
Honesty on the internet You're model?
I am chippendales dancer
I also race speedboats.
What is your sign?
Hobbled gynecologist
Hear about the hobbled gynecologist, who couldn't walk anywhere without crotches? A pain in the leg
An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal, and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong, so he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age; there's nothing I can do about it."
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! That can't be!"
The Doctor says, "What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?"
The patient answers, "I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all, my other leg feels just fine."
"So what?" says the doctor "What difference does that make?"
"Well it doesn't hurt a bit, and it's the SAME AGE!"
Anthony Jeselnik: Better Man
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person -- so I can get a better girlfriend. Fish trap
This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it.
An Inspector steps out of the bushes, “Ahha!” he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled “Shiiiit!”. The Inspector, who wasn't expecting such a response said “Settle down, I'm the Fishing Inspector”. “Thank God for that” said the fisherman, “I thought you were the bugger who owned this fish trap”.
Character Recognition and the Secret Service
Donald Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo when an assassin steps forward and aims a gun.
A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts, “Mickey Mouse!”
This startles the would-be assassin, and he is captured.
Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks,
“What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?”
(Wait for it....)
Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout, “Donald duck!”
When my girlfriend said she wa...
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face. Police Quotes
“The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.”
“So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”
“Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”
“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.”
“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”
“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
“Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid.”
“No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”
“Just how big were those two beers?
