Jokes of the day for Sunday, 08 February 2026
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 08 February 2026 |
Wanna play house?
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Stevie, wanna play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate."
He says to her, "that word is too big. I have no idea what it means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
A doctor is complaining to a mechanic...
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Ant jokes, lighter jokes, and few more
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.
Three men were in a boat and had four cigarettes, but no lighter,
So they threw one cigarette overboard,
and the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.
I used to be a programmer for autocorrect
They fried me for no raisin
I have the body of a 24 year old....
but it's in the freezer
How do you tell the gender of an ant?
Throw it in water. If it sinks, it’s girl ant, but if it floats…
Its impossible for viruses to spread throughout an ant colony?
Because of all the little antey bodies.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them?
So that they can Scandinavian
I bought shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day
Orange
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"
What hapiness is
A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married.
By then it's too late.
Frank Skinner (January 28 1957-)
Picture: Reuters
A schoolgirl approaches her mo...
A schoolgirl approaches her mother and announces, "Mommy, I know where babies come from!" "And where is that?" her mother asks.
"Well, Mommy and Daddy take their clothes off and Daddy's thingy sort of sticks out and Mommy puts it in her mouth and that's how you get babies," she explains.
"Oh darling, that's so sweet, but that's not how we get babies," her mother replies, "That's how we get flowers, jewelry, clothes and shoes!"
The Sharkeisha super falcon pu...
The Sharkeisha super falcon punch is as close as anyone has ever gotten to the force of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. A cab driver picks up a nun...
A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull off to the side of the road, "maybe we will see what we can do."
The nun plants a whopper of a kiss on the cabbie! But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
Beer Machismo
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please." The bartender gave him the drink.
Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers -- Budweiser."
The bartender proceeds with the order.
The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
The bartender gives him an Amstel.
Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.
All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."
Who takes care of the farm ...
Q. Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick? A. The pharmacist!
I wasn't originally...
“I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.”
Two old men - Bert and Harry...
Two old men - Bert and Harry - were sitting quietly in a bar."When was the last time you made love to a woman?" Bert asked Harry.
"1945," replied Harry.
"My goodness!" exclaimed Bert. "That's a long time ago."
"Not really," said Harry, glancing at his watch. "It's only twenty past eight now."
In the doctors office two pati...
In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake."
"A sponge!" exclaims the other. "Does it hurt much?"
"No...no pain at all," says the first, "but...boy, do I get thirsty!"
