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Short jokes - funny one liners (7481 to 7520)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 7481 to 7520. |
Silly putty enjoys top 10 r
Silly putty enjoys top 10 goo glee rankings.Kids At The Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
I wish people would stop making fun of fat people
I wish people would stop making fun of fat people – they have enough sh-t on their plates.
Eddie Murphy (April 3 1961-)
Picture: Getty Images
A blonde decides to try horseb
A blonde decides to try horseback rising. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she's thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.Only in America do we chain \\
Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.Which deadly reptile attacks v
Which deadly reptile attacks via telemarketing scams? The crock-dial!Who gets the present?
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to Mother? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in union. "Okay, Dad. You get the toy."
Archeologist
How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Question: What did one toilet
Question: What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll?Answer: "People keep on ripping me off!"
Vatican music
The Vatican is releasing a new CD that features Pope John Paul II reciting prayers while rapping to rock music.
I think the new Pope is taking this thing a bit too far because today he announced he's having a feud with the West Coast rappers!
Anyone who can fart on command
Anyone who can fart on command belongs in an insta toot.“When it comes to nou
“When it comes to nourishment, a boa's best friend is his smother.”
A man walks into a chemist's ...
A man walks into a chemist's and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I'll take it with me now".
Ronnie Barker (1929-2005)
Picture: Getty
Yo mama's so fat when I pictu
Yo mama's so fat when I pictured her in my head she broke my neck.Teacher: What’s the outside
Teacher: What’s the outside layerof a tree called, Tommy?
Tommy: Don’t Know.
Teacher: Bark, Tommy.
Tommy: Woof, Woof.
A terrorist in Canada is anyon
A terrorist in Canada is anyone who ISIS the puck.“The podiatry book us
“The podiatry book used footnotes while the proctology book used endnotes.”
Where there's a will ...
Where there's a will – there's a relative!
Ricky Gervais (June 25 1961-)
Picture: Getty
There are mostly perfume ads o
There are mostly perfume ads on Channel Number 5.I''m lost...
A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Chips and beer."
My boss was honest with me today
He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it.
He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."
You know you have a drinking problem when
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name
...and you've never been to that bar before.
@galifianakisz's reputation precedes him.
http://on.cc.com/1AiZBXT
