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Halloween jokes (1 to 15)Jokes about halloween. These are the jokes listed 1 to 15. |
There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween - halloween jokes
I said to my wife “There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween.”She said: "Which is?"
I said: "Exactly"
Corgi Jokes - to celebrate International Corgi Day
We celebrate International Corgi Day on June the 4th. Get involved in International Corgi Day, tell a Corgi Joke!
Q: Why are most corgi jokes such bad jokes?
A: Because they’re too short.
Q: What do you call a corgi that is overweight?
A: Low-fat
Q: Why do corgis react so violently when their food is touched?
A: Because they have a short fuse.
Q: What do you call a corgi owner who instructs his canine companion in dance?
A: A corgi-o-grapher.
Q: How do corgis unlock doors?
A: By using a Corg-key
Q: When it’s cold outside, what does a corgi wear?
A: The cordigan
Q: What do you call a dog from New Mexico?
A: An Albu-corgi.
Q: Why are corgis such excellent hunting companions?
A: They are in-corg-nito because concealment is not necessary.
Q: Why do corgis enjoy going to the mall?
A: Because they want their tail to come back.
Q: What occurs when a corgi is connected to a battery?
A: A short circuit occurs.
Q: If a corgi dresses up as one of the Avengers for Halloween, what would you call him?
A: One Thorgi.
Q: When other dogs eat their food, why do corgis grow aggressive?
A: Because they are short-tempered dogs.
Q: Why did the corgi sit in the shade on a hot day?
A: Because it didn’t want to be a “hot dog.”
24 Leap Day Jokes - Make Every February 29th memorable
Trying to figure out why 2024 will be longer than 2023…
But so far, nothing leaps to mind.
What’s a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years.
If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year.
Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone.
What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog
What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions
How do you know it’s almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away.
What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits.
What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch.
What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration.
Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February.
October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you’re having a good time with Halloween. Then it’s 3 years of being ghosted.
Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy.
Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year.
Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code!
Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 — it’s a leap year.
What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop
How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long!
Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle!
Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops.
What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship.
I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years.
Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party!
Why don’t we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it’s too risky to take a leap of faith!
37 Christmas jokes
Why is the Grinch such a good gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it’s always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What’s the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song?
Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.
What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful.
How can you tell that Santa is real?
You can always sense his presents.
What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nick-less.
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Beyon-sleigh.
What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Santa-tizer.
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.
Why did Santa’s helper start going to therapy?
He had low “elf” esteem.
What do Santa’s helpers learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What would you find on an elf’s Instagram account?
Lots of elf-ies.
Who is the best singer in the North Pole?
Elf-is Presley.
What did the elf on the shelf dress up as for Halloween?
Prankenstein.
Why didn’t Rudolph make honor roll in school this term?
Because he went down in history.
Which reindeer does Santa always have to discipline?
Rude-olph.
What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
How did the snowman get to work?
By icicle!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do grapes sing at Christmas?
‘Tis the season to be jelly.
Why shouldn’t you prank the eggnog?
It can’t take a yolk.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots!
What do you call an art museum made out of ice?
The Ig-Louvre.
What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?
Its shadow.
One more set of Thanksgiving jokes - new from 2023
Why is Thanksgiving a great holiday for gossip?Because the best part are the side dishes.
Why do turkeys love R-rated movies?
Because they use fowl language.
If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships.
Why are Thanksgiving and Halloween similar?
They both have gobble-ins.
Check more of New Thanksgiving jokes from 2023.
How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie??
3.14.
What are turkeys most thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Vegans.
What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die?
Poultrygeists.
What's Inside a Genie's Turkey?
Wishbones.
What did pilgrims use to make cookies?
May Flour!
Check out our collection of new (and old) Thanksgiving jokes.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Why are Thanksgiving bread jokes always funny?
Because they never get mold.
What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
“Grace.”
What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
Nice to meat you.
Why don’t side dishes tell jokes?
They’re too corny.
What do you call a sad cranberry?
A blueberry.
What’s the best way to keep a turkey in suspense?
You’ll find out at Thanksgiving dinner!
What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.
Need more Thanksgiving jokes? There some Thanksgiving jokes that were new not so long ago Thanksgiving jokes that were new recently
35 New Halloween jokes from 2023
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange or Nec-tarines?
Where do mummies go if they want to swim?
The Dead Sea!
Why don't vampires eat cows?
They don't like stakes.
Who did Frankenstein’s monster bring to prom?
His ghoulfriend.
Why didn't the police arrest the zombie?
He couldn't be taken alive.
How do ghosts drink their coffee?
With scream and sugar.
How many real vampires are there?
None. Unless you count Dracula.
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Ice scream sandwich.
Why did the ghost quit his job?
They kept making him work the graveyard shift.
Tired of new jokes? We have big collection of older Halloween jokes
Why do witches wear name tags?
To tell which witch is which.
How do skeletons start their cars?
With skeleton keys.
What did one casket say to the sick casket?
Is that you coughin'?
What did one casket say to the other casket?
Is that you, coffin?
Why don't ghosts take showers?
They only like boo-ble baths.
Why did Dracula go to art school?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the corpse's mom do when she got mad at him?
She grounded him.
What kind of ship does Dracula have?
A blood vessel.
What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.
What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick or treating with her friends?
She was ex-spelled from school.
What kind of dessert does a monster like?
I-scream!
Why don't monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?
They eat fingers separately.
When do zombies finish trick or treating?
When they are dead tired.
Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
Mali-boo.
Who does a mummy take on a date?
Any girl he can dig up.
What does a zombie wear to make their eyes pop?
Ma-scare-a!
He only had one pupil!
What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?
A monster truck.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.
Why wouldn’t Dracula’s kids laugh at his jokes?
Because they all sucked.
Who are some of the werewolves' cousins?
The whatwolves and the whenwolves.
Rolling Her Eyes
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
29 Halloween Jokes to make you laugh hard
Halloween Q/A Jokes
1. Q: Why don't skeletons like Halloween candy?A: They don't have the stomach for it.
2. Q: Where do spiders do their Halloween shopping?
A: On the web.
3. Q: Who's in charge of the candy corn?
A: The kernel.
4. Q: Why didn't anyone want to go trick or treating with Dracula?
A: Because he’s a pain in the neck!
5. Q: What do birds give to trick or treaters?
A: Tweets.
6. Q: What do witches put on to go trick or treating?
A: Mas-scare-a.
7. Q: What did one piece of hard candy say to the other after it helped it escape from being eaten?
A: “Thanks! You're a real lifesaver.”
8. Q: What type of plants like Halloween the most?
A: Bam-Boo
9. Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
A: Because they have no body to go with.
10. Q: What did the skeleton bring to the dinner party?
A: Spare-ribs.
Get more of holiday fun ideas at our Halloween Jokes.
11. Q: Why do skeletons love to drink milk?
A: It's good for the bones.
12. Q: What is a skeleton's favorite snack?
A: A cinnabone.
13. Q: What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern?
A: A plumpkin
14. Q: Who rules the pumpkin patch?
A: The pump-king.
Pumpkin Jokes are importan part of Halloween, but also part of many Thanksgiving Jokes.
15. Q: How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
A: On vine-yl.
16. Q: What to ghosts add to their morning cereal?
A: Booberries
17. Q: What is a ghost's favorite kind of drink?
A: Ghoul-aid.
18. Q: What does a ghost put on his turkey?
A: Grave-y.
19. Q: What kind of cereal does a ghost have for breakfast?
A: Rice Creepies
20. Q: Where do ghosts shop for all of their meals?
A: The ghostery store.
21. Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: To tell which witch is which.
22. Q: What do witches study in school?
A: Spelling.
23. Q: Why did the angry witch leave her broom at home?
A: She didn’t want to fly off the handle.
24. Q: Where do witches park?
A: In the broom closet.
Halloween Knock, Knock Jokes
25. Knock, Knock!Who's there? Orange.
Orange who? Orange you glad it's Halloween.
26. Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who? Don't cry, it's only Halloween.
27. Knock, knock!
Who’s there? Al.
Al who? Al go home after trick-or-treating.
28. Knock, Knock!
Who's there? Witch.
Witch who? Witch one of you has the candy?
Halloween Statement Jokes
29. Did you hear about the gloomy jack-o'-lantern? It needed to lighten up.Halloween, Thanksgiving and other Fall Jokes for kids
Halloween Jokes
1. Why did the cows turn into werewolves?
- It was a full moooooon.
2. Where do ghosts go on vacation?
- The boo-hamas.
3. What kind of monster loves disco?
- The boogieman.
4. How do you know a vampire has a cold?
- He starts coffin.
5. What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
- A hot dog.
6. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
- You can see right through them.
Find more about Haloween on Haloween Jokes
Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Jack.
- Jack who?
- Jack o’lantern.
2. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Ivan.
- Ivan who?
- Ivan to suck your blood.
3. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Witches.
- Witches who?
- Witches the best way out of this neighborhood?
Knock-Knock and other Haloween Jokes can be found on page Haloween Jokes
Pumpkin Jokes
1. How did the little pumpkins cross the road?
- With the help of a crossing gourd.
2. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
- With a pumpkin patch.
3. How does the pumpkin listen to music?
- On vine-yl.
4. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
- A life gourd.
5. Where do pumpkins hold business meetings?
- In the gourd-room.
6. What happens if you eat too much pumpkin pie?
- You get autumn-y ache.
Pumpkins are importan part of many Haloween Jokes
Fall Jokes
1. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
- Straw-berries.
2. What did the scarecrow say when he lost all his stuffing?
- That was the last straw!
3. What is the cutest of seasons?
- Awww-tumn.
4. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
- Squash.
5. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
- To make up for his miserable summer.
6. Why are dads so good at fall puns?
- Because they’re so corny.
Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Annie.
- Annie who?
- Annie-body want some pie?
2. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Arthur.
- Arthur who?
- Arthur any leftovers?
3. Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Pie.
- Pie who?
- Pie love you.
Knock-Knock and other Thanksgiving jokes on Thanksgiving Jokes
Thanksgiving Jokes
1. Why did the gravy get sent to bed early?
- For acting saucy at the table.
2. Why did the turkey get ejected from the basketball game?
- He committed a fowl.
3. Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving band perform?
- Somebody ate the drumsticks.
4. What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
- Yammies.
5. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving?
- The tur-key.
6. What is the most mythical vegetable?
- A uni-corn.
Find more jokes about Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Jokes
Apple Jokes
1. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
- It ran out of juice.
2. Why did the apple pie cross the road?
- It saw a fork up ahead.
3. Why did the apple join the circus?
- He loved the apple-ause.
4. Why did the apple pie cry?
- Its peelings were hurt.
5. What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
- “Leaf me alone!”
6. Why is it hard to work at the apple pie factory?
- They have such a high turnover rate.
12 pirate jokes
1. Why is pirating so addictive?
Because once you lose yer first hand, you get hooked!
2. Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they'll wash up on shore later.
3. How do you save a dying pirate?
You give him CPARRRRR.
4. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.
5. Why do pirates suck at card games?
Because they always stand on the deck.
6. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch.
7. A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined. The doctor says: "They're benign."
The pirate replies: "No, no, doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here."
8. Why'd the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new iPatch!
9. Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ye left him.
10. What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A rookie.
11. What do you call a pirate with no arms and no legs?
An expert.
12. What does a vegan pirate have on its shoulder?
A carrot!
The One Big Halloween Scare
I told my wife that there is only one thing that scares me on Halloween.
My wife: Which is?
Me: Exactly!
Few more Halloween jokes
Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
The Dead Sea!
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?
Buckle your sheet bel
Coffee Shop
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."
20 more of 2020 Halloween Jokes
Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A: At the casketeria.
Q: What part of the street do vampires live on?
A: The dead end.
Q: What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin-pi!
Q: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
A: It Sphinx!
Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
A: Count Spatula.
Q: What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
A: Spooktacles
Q: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires?
A: Fangs-giving!
Q: What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
A: Rice Creepies.
Q: Where do ghosts go on holidays?
A: The Boohamas.
Q: What did one ghost say to the other?
A: Get a life!
Q: What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
A: Trick or trout. How do ghosts search the
Q: Web?
A: They use ghoul-gle.
Q: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.
Q: Who do monsters buy cookies from?
A: Ghoul scouts.
Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
A: Because there are so many plots there!
Q: Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?
A: Because they just had their brains scooped out!
Q: Where is the best place to party on Halloween?
A: The g-RAVE-yard.
Q: Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips?
A: It was just trying to be just like its mummy.
Q: Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars?
A: Because all of the Boos.
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.
