37 Christmas jokes
Why is the Grinch such a good gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.
Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it’s always stuffed!
Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!
What’s the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song?
Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.
What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful.
How can you tell that Santa is real?
You can always sense his presents.
What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nick-less.
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Beyon-sleigh.
What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Santa-tizer.
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.
Why did Santa’s helper start going to therapy?
He had low “elf” esteem.
What do Santa’s helpers learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What would you find on an elf’s Instagram account?
Lots of elf-ies.
Who is the best singer in the North Pole?
Elf-is Presley.
What did the elf on the shelf dress up as for Halloween?
Prankenstein.
Why didn’t Rudolph make honor roll in school this term?
Because he went down in history.
Which reindeer does Santa always have to discipline?
Rude-olph.
What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
This one will sleigh you!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
How did the snowman get to work?
By icicle!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do grapes sing at Christmas?
‘Tis the season to be jelly.
Why shouldn’t you prank the eggnog?
It can’t take a yolk.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots!
What do you call an art museum made out of ice?
The Ig-Louvre.
What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?
Its shadow.
Why makes this Joke funny?
Why is the Grinch such a good gardener? He has a green thumb.
This joke is funny because it plays on the double meaning of "green thumb." Normally, having a "green thumb" means someone is good at gardening, but since the Grinch is literally green, it adds a humorous literal twist to the phrase.
What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play? A don-key.
This joke is a pun on the word "donkey." A "key" is essential for something to work or happen, and in a Nativity play, a donkey is often a key character, making this a clever play on words.
Why was the advent calendar afraid? Its days were numbered!
This joke uses a common phrase, "your days are numbered," which usually means something or someone is about to end or be in trouble. However, in the case of an advent calendar, its days are literally numbered, giving a funny literal interpretation to the phrase.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.
Here, the humor comes from replacing the word "Hark" in the Christmas carol "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" with "Bark," which is the sound a dog makes. This simple wordplay creates a funny image of dogs singing Christmas carols.
What carol is heard in the desert? O camel ye faithful.
This joke is funny because it replaces "O Come, All Ye Faithful," a traditional Christmas carol, with "O Camel," making a pun that relates to the desert, where camels are commonly found.
What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nick-less.
The humor in this joke stems from the play on words where "Nick-less" sounds like "nickel-less," implying having no money, hence bankrupt. It also plays on the name Santa Claus is often known by, Saint Nick.
Why did Santa’s helper start going to therapy? He had low “elf” esteem.
This joke is funny due to its pun on "elf" and "self" in the phrase "self-esteem." It`s a clever way to make a common term Christmas-related by incorporating an elf, a key character in Santa`s workshop.
What did the elf on the shelf dress up as for Halloween? Prankenstein.
The humor here is a play on "Frankenstein," a famous fictional monster. The joke combines the concepts of an elf (known for mischief) and Frankenstein, creating a humorous Halloween costume idea.
Which reindeer does Santa always have to discipline? Rude-olph.
This joke plays on the name of the reindeer "Rudolph," changing it to "Rude-olph" to suggest that this particular reindeer is rude, hence why Santa needs to discipline him. It`s funny because it`s unexpected and plays on a well-known character.
How did the snowman get to work? By icicle!
The humor in this joke comes from the play on words, replacing "bicycle" with "icicle," which is fJoke of the day - 37 Christmas jokes
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