Steven Wright 12
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
[Referring to a glass of water] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning... [Picks up his glass of water from the stool...] I like to live on the edge...
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.
I was born by Cesarean section... But not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.
When I was a baby, I kept a diary. Recently, I was rereading it. It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot." I was upset because on my second birthday, I went from being one to being two, and my age doubled in a year. I figured at this rate, by the time I'm six, I'll be ninety.
When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?"
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Joke of the day - Steven Wright 12
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Different people consider different jokes funny, so joke can not satisfy taste for everyone. Some people like Lawyer jokes, other do not consider lawers jokes funny.
People developing software, or doing anything with the software my consider some geek stuff funny, but it might not be funny for the others.
We try to deliver best jokes every day. But, it depends on sites we take jokes from. Besides jokes, find funny photos and funny videos. Great archive so far, years of collected jokes.
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