Do You Know Me?

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness

to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He

approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've

known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've

been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your

wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their

backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't

the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more

than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he

pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you

know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley

since he was a youngster, too. I used to babysit him for his

parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.

He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't

build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice

is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know

him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and

called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice,

he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows

me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"