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I promise you cannot read thes...

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh outloud! These are real notes written from parents in a Mississippi schooldistrict. (Spellings have been left intact.)
My son is under a doctor's care and should not takeP.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick andI had her shot.
Dear School: Please ekscuse John Henry being absenton Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33
Please excuse Gloria Jean from Jim today. She isadministrating
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth takenout of his face.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he playingfootball. He hurt in the growing part.
Ethel Pearl could not come to school today because shehas been bothered by very close veins.
Please xcuse LeRoy from school, he ain't got no raincot and it was missing rain.
Please excuse Bowdiddly fom school cause he uncledied. Bow say, "I sho glad it want me."
Lugene will not be in school cus he has an acre in hisside .
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has veryloose vowels.
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. Hehad(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the s----. [Words werecrossed out in the ( )'s}
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. Hehad diarrhea and his boots leak.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed hisbust.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father'sfault.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmasshopping because I don't know what size she wear.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found itMonday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won't be in school a weak from Friday. We haveto attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she wastired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Willie being absent yesterday. He had acold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary Ann for being absent yestitty. Shewas in bed with gramps.
Lizie was absent yesterday as she was having agangover.
Please excuse Brenda, she been sick and under thedoctor.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had afever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and achedall over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must besomething going around, her father even got hot last night.
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is the best Joke for Thursday, 22 January 2015 from site jokes warehouse - I promise you cannot read thes....
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