a.. Age is a very high price t
a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than goingto a garage makes you a mechanic.
c.. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
d.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
e.. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
f.. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've nevertried before.
g.. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
h.. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life isserious
i.. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
j.. For every action, there is an equal and opposite governmentprogram.
k.. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need thetrip.
l.. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your wayagain.
m.. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
n.. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel sogood.
o.. Eat well, stay fit--die anyway.
p.. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
q.. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
r.. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of thewaist change places.
s.. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
t.. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
u.. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
v.. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize amistake when you make it again.
w.. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
x.. Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.
y.. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is whenI'm in the bathroom.
z.. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall nevercease to be amused.
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