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Jokes of the day for Friday, 15 March 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 15 March 2013

Kings birthday

Many years ago, in the south pacific, there was a small island kingdom that was ruled by a kind and benevolent King. Each year, on the King's birthday, the residents of the island gave the King a new throne as token of their love and respect for him.

And each year, the King would put last years gift up in the attic of his small grass house. After many years of ruling the island, the weight of the large number of birthday presents stored up in the attic became too heavy and caused the house to collapse down on the King.

Moral to the story is: He who lives in grass house, shouldn't stow thrones.

#joke
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Animal jokes-Small mouse

A young elephant and young mouse came across each other for the first time:
Mouse: "What are you?"
Elephant: " I'm an elephant"
Mouse: "Aren't you big"
Elephant: " Yes. What are you?
Mouse: " I'm a mouse"
Elephant: " Aren't you small?"
Mouse: " I, I, I've not been well"
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

SLIDESHOW #37 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“Some people take bea...

“Some people take beautiful pictures and cut them into pieces. That's a puzzle to me.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

Funny video of the day - Best Cats Of 2013 (Part 1)

Best Cats Of 2013 (Part 1) - A collection of the best viral cat videos that hit the internet in the first part of 2013. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

As migration approached, two e...

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (6)

Funny Photo of the day - Slide - much funnier solution then stairs

Slide - much funnier solution then stairs - Every house should have one! | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.43/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (23)

Telephone Accident


The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.
"Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer.
"Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"

#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.89/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (9)

Moral of the story

O n elephant and a mouse are walking together through the jungle when the elephant falls into a very large hole. The hole is so large that try as he might, the elephant is unable to climb out.

So the mouse says, "Hang around, I'll get something to drag you out with" and leaves. A little while later the mouse returns driving a Porsche and with a rope tied to the bumper bar and he drags the elephant out of the hole.

The two friends continue their stroll through the jungle when all of a sudden, the mouse falls into a hole. The elephant immediately stands over the hole and squatting over it, lowers his penis so the mouse can grab it and lift himself out of the hole.

The moral of this story is that "If your dick is long enough you dont need a Porsche."

#joke
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (55)

Wrong trial

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said: "Sir, please answer the question."

Florida recount from the Florida Supreme Court

"Oh," the startled witness said: "I thought he was talking to you."

#joke #lawyer
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Guns don't kill people. Chuck ...

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 17 December 2011
  • Currently 3.03/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (58)

God is Watching

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, "Take only one, God is watching."
At the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Moving through the line a boy wrote another note to leave by the cookies, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 13 June 2009
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (15)

Circle of flies....

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, 'Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?' The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, 'Well yeah, if that's what they are, but I never heard of circle flies.'

So the farmer says, 'Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.'

The trooper says, 'Oh,' and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, 'Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?'

The farmer says, 'Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass.'

The trooper says, 'Well, that's a good thing,' and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says, 'Hard to fool them flies though...'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 March 2009
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (39)

Juston McKinney: Stay Off My Wall

My wife is actually a little upset with me right now because I wont approve her as a friend on my Facebook. Im like, You got every wall in the house. Can I have one wall without you popping up on and ruining it? Stay off my wall.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 15 March 2012
  • Currently 3.27/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (30)

Leading hand sanitizers claim ...

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 15 March 2012
  • Currently 2.94/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (18)

A sad-faced Doug walked into a...

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning.
The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.
"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.
Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 March 2009
  • Currently 6.87/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (15)

A juggler, driving to his next...

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
“What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.
“I use them in my juggling act,” says the juggler.
“Oh yeah?” “Let’s see you do it.” Says the policeman.
So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.
A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I stopped
Drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”
#joke #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 15 March 2010
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (10)

An Unusual Vet

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself

through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two

vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their

owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his

income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying,

"Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way,

you get your dog back!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 May 2012
  • Currently 6.36/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (45)

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