Join us on
WhatsApp
Join us on
Telegram
Join us on
Viber

Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 14 July 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 14 July 2021

Southwest

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did."

"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."  

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 9.48/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (44)

Two blondes, Jane and Sarah, w

Two blondes, Jane and Sarah, were deep in a philosophical argument.
"Since you're so damned smart," Sarah says, "answer this question: why is it that when a slice of buttered bread falls to the ground, it's bound to fall on the buttered side?"
Jane snorts, "It doesn't always land on the buttered side. Here, I'll prove it." She gets out the loaf of bread from the cupboard. Out comes the butter from the fridge. She generously butters the bread. Then she drops it. Butter side up.
"Ha-ha! See?!"
"You think you're so smart. You just buttered the wrong side of the bread!"
#joke #blonde #food #bread #butter
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.22/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (18)

Bruce Lee's Older Brother

Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?
Sudden Lee.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

The Preacher and the Friendly Ghost

A new preacher wanted to rent a house in the country but the only one available was rumored to be haunted. That didn’t bother the preacher since he didn’t believe in such things. He went ahead and rented the place.Soon the ghost made its appearance. The preacher told his friends about the ghost, but they didn’t believe him. They told him the only way they would believe was if he took a picture of the ghost.The preacher went home and called for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher explained the situation and asked the ghost if it would mind having its picture taken. The ghost agreed.When the picture was developed, the ghost wasn’t visible. Feeling disappointed, the preacher called again for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher showed it the picture and wanted to know why the ghost wasn’t in it. The ghost thought a minute and replied, “Well, I guess the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.”
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 May 2021
  • Currently 3.07/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (15)

Gourmet Reporter

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.

He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.

"But you don't understand!" he cries, "You can't do this to me! I'm an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"

"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well soon you will be editor-in-chief!"

#joke #food #dinner
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 02 August 2015
  • Currently 7.27/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (15)

Why was Blackbeard chosen to j...

Why was Blackbeard chosen to judge the baking contest? Because he was a pie-rate.
#joke #short #food #pie
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 March 2010
  • Currently 4.79/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (14)

On his birthday, Chuck Norris ...

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 14 July 2011
  • Currently 3.10/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (60)

How much?

A man meets a woman at a bar and asks her

"Would you have sex with me for 10 million dollars?"

Without skipping a beat she screams

"Yes!"

The man then asks

"What about for $20?"

She looks at him sideways and says

"What do you think I am, a whore?"

The man says

"We've already established that you are, now we're just negotiating."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 July 2012
  • Currently 6.54/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (50)

i know him

A small town prosecuting barrister called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a attractive middle aged lady. He approached her and asked, "Ms. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "I do know you Mr. Leigh. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defence attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Knowles since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both barristers to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 14 July 2011
  • Currently 6.64/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (44)

Microsoft Support

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. T he sign said "WHERE AM I?"

in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless reply.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 July 2010
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (38)

Biblical Babysitter

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath into a very deep sleep.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 July 2012
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (30)

Trump chose a leaky bottle of...

Trump chose a leaky bottle of vinegar for his cabinet. The press wrote ,”Meet the new Secretory Acetate“.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 December 2016
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

McDonalds Food Ideas

Food Ideas Rejected By McDonalds:

  1. Chicken McBobbitts
  2. Salmon McNella
  3. Tom & Roseanne "Together Forever" Value Meal
  4. Shirley McLean Burger
  5. McMenudo
  6. Filet o' Gefilte Fish
  7. Way Too Happy Meal
  8. Lion King Hairball Happy Meal
  9. Them Ain't Nuggets!
  10. McKitty Sandwich
  11. Boutrous Boutrous Burger
  12. Rocky Mountain McOysters
  13. McSpleen
  14. The Depressed Meal
  15. Filet O' Flesh
  16. McShrooms
  17. Bob Barker's Happy Pants Meal
  18. McTonya Club Sandwich
  19. Grumpy Meal, Dopey Meal, and Sneezy Meal

#joke #animal #lion #chicken #fish #food #sandwich #burger #meal
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 April 2016
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

Adam and Eve

Why did god create Adam before he created Eve?
- Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 September 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

One Sunday morning, the pastor...

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning, Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"
The pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,"Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 November 2017
  • Currently 8.47/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (15)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.