A Man's World

– Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

– Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To “I love you.”

– When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

– Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the backside and a “Nice hustle, you'll get ‘em next time” would pretty much do it.

– Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the football team of your choice.

– At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

– Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, “You're #1!”

– It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.