Popular jokes (17281 to 17295)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Become More Effective
The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A sergeant reported thoughtfully: "Sir, I just discovered something that does the work of fifty men."
"What is it?" the officer got interested.
"Two hundred soldiers."
How do you make a bandstand?
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs! #joke #short
Take away their chairs!
A ninety-year-old couple decid
A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a divorce."The judge says, "You've been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long?"
The couple say in unison, "Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were dead."
Wandering mind
Why is it dangerous to let your man's mind wander?It's too little to be out alone.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
The Dead Dog
A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
"Are you sure", the distraught woman asked? "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"
The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
"Well, that confirms it", the vet announced, "your dog is dead."
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"
"That will be $1,330", the vet replied.
"I don't believe it", screamed the woman! "What did you do that cost $1,330????"
"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $1,300 for the CAT scan."
Two dumb fishermen...
Two fishermen, Paul and Jim, decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport. After fishing for 4 hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits. Suddenly things started to happen and they caught their limit inside of twenty minutes.
Paul said, Hey we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come,
Jim says good idea, and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat to mark the spot.
With that Paul says, why did you do that, now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish.
The best thing to ca...
“The best thing to carry with you when you start feeling tired is a knapsack.”
A lonely frog telephoned the P
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!"
"Will I meet her at a party?" he asks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
