Popular jokes (22291 to 22305)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Independence Day joke
Sunny : Do they have a 4th of July in England?Tommy: Of course. How else do they get from the 3rd to the 5th?
I love me some drunken Germans
I love me some drunken Germans. Buzzed Franzs forever!“When the perfume fac
“When the perfume factory magnate died it was discovered that he didn't leave his heirs a scent.”
There are more important thing...
There are more important things than money, but they won’t date you if you don’t have anyTourists...
A group of American tourists was being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.
"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have."
A man is fishing and he catche
A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my penis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are...
Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day.Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday"
Guard dog
My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection since she drove all over the country. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn't like men.”
“Perfect,” my sister-in-law thought and took the dog.
Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.
“I really wanted a ca...
“I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.”
Now You Know
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.The stunning blonde had gone t
The stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies."Are you feeling OK?" he asked.
"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?"
"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'."
The Santa Claus at the mall wa...
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "OK, What do you want for Christmas?""Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you!" smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her?"
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
