The best jokes (15481 to 15495)

Doctor jokes-Some consolation

Polar Bear

2 polarbers are walking around in the artic. a father and son pair. The son looks at the father and says, " Dad i got a question, are u sure I am 100% polarbear?". The father looks at his son and says, "Yes son your 100% polar bear"

"OK" the son says

They keep walking and about 20 min later the son again says: "Are you sure I am 100% polarbear?" The father again says, "Yes son you're 100% polar bear"

"OK" the son says

Then about 30 min later the son says, "OK dad be serious are you sure I am 100% polarbear are You sure there is no blackbear or grizzly bar in me??" "Yes son your 100% polarbear, I am 100% polarbear and so is your monther. Why do u keep asking son?" The son says, "Well I dont know about u but I am freezing"

“Lazy people worship ...

“Lazy people worship a bone idol.”

Guys and Dolls

Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. The girls take the drunk guys home, slip blowup dolls into their beds and leave.
The next morning, the one guy tells the other guy, "I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away."

Short funny jokes-Hole in umbrella

“The marine biology s...

“The marine biology student took a math course called algae-bra.”

When the Aztec warri...

“When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened.”

Chuck Norris once ate an entir...

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Knock Knock Collection 084

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Heart!
Heart who?
Heart who hear you, speak louder!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Heaven!
Heaven who?
Heaven seen you in ages!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Heidi!
Heidi who?
Heidi-clare war on you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Heifer!
Heifer who?
Heifer cow is better than none!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Helena!
Helana who?
Helena hand basket!

News Headlines 03

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Two Aussie cattle drovers stan...

Two Aussie cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.
One asked, "What are you up to, Mate?"
Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah ... and what route are you takin'?"
"Ah, probably the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought."

These days about half the stuf...

These days about half the stuff
In my shopping cart says,
'For fast relief

Fitting into size-19 shoes is ...

Fitting into size-19 shoes is the greatest feet imaginable.

Restless Little Girl

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

Throwing Away Garbage

An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"
"I have to throw this away," replied the tourist.
"You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want."
The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.
"Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist.
"No. This is the American Embassy."