The best jokes (4321 to 4335)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 4321 to 4335. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Bumper Stickers 11
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
The mother of a 17-year-old gi
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
18 new Halloween jokes from 2020
Q: Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
A: At the ghost-ery store!
Q: What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
A: Happy Owl-ween!
Q: What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?
A: Booberries!
Q: Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?
A: Choco-LATE!
Q: Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
A: Boo jeans.
Q: What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
A: You never know which witch is which!
Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
A: Prank-enstein!
Q: What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
A: Straw-berries.
Q: What does a witch use to do her hair?
A: Scarespray!
Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.
Q:How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: Why don’t vampires have more friends?
A: Because they are a pain in the neck.
Q: What position does a ghost play in hockey?
A: Ghoulie.
Q: What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?
A: Coffin-drops.
Q: What is a ghost's nose full of?
A: Boooooogers!
Q: Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?
A: People are just dying to get in.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept.
Because of a dense fog, a stea
Because of a dense fog, a steamboat had to stop at the mouth of the river. A passenger demanded to know the cause of the delay."Can't see up the river," the harassed captain replied. "Fog's too thick."
"But I can see the stars overhead," the passenger said.
"Yes," the captain growled, "but unless the engines explode, we're not going that way."
A college pizza delivery boy a
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?""Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
News Correspondent: Why did yo
News Correspondent: Why did you flee from the police and start a dangerous car chase that caused multiple wrecks along the I-9 freeway?Prisoner: Well you see ma'am, my buddy and me were talking and he runs a towing company. He said business had been really slow lately. He told me if I could wreck at least 15 cars he could get me free room and board, 3 free meals a day, and I wouldn't have to work another day in my life.
Hide & Seek Crisis
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek...
Do they automatically lose because they can't find themselves?
Million Dollar Smile
I decided to make sure my wife had a smile on her face every morning...
Now I can’t keep sharpies in the house anymore.
Snow Days
A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town.
When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively.
"I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow."
Safety First
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped...
She keeps it in the trunk.
