The best jokes (14746 to 14760)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 14746 to 14760. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Slogans....
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?"
Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom...."
Dear Pun Gents...
Dear Pun Gents, our company is having a Pictionary contest, and we'd like a punny name to cover four ladies who can't draw! ~Shari, Romeoville,ILAmericans are taking on too mu...
Americans are taking on too much debt, and it's putting kinks in the economy. They love state-owe-masochism, getting fiscaled, bondage, and other stimulus measures. This is why they are being punished on the S&M 500.Blonde quickies 10
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common ?A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do blonds and spagetthii have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Don't tell her to swallow.
Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool ?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Men Are Just Happier People
Your last name stays put.Sherlock Holmes in Heaven
Sherlock Holmes stood at the Gates of Heaven pulling at his pipe awaiting his turn. "I'll let you in," said St. Peter, gesturing toward the heavenly throngs behind him, "if you'll tell me who among these was the first mortal."
"Elementary, my dear St. Peter," said the great detective, "he's the one without a bellybutton."
A man moves into a nudis...
A man moves into a n*dist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a n*dist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says: "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style.... it makes your nose look short."
Love, Grandma Fratzke
God told man, I'm going ...
God told man, I'm going to give you ten years of a normal sex life.Man said, That's not enough. The way I feel, I need much more.
God said, If I give you something, don't complain.
Man said, But sex isn't just something.
God said, Look, I'm busy. We'll talk again.
God called the King of the Beasts to him and said, Lion, you've got twenty years of sex life.
The lion said, Ten will be enough.
Man said, Let me have the extra ten.
God nodded and said You've got it.
God then gave the monkey twenty years. The monkey said that ten would be enough.
Man raised his hand, God nodded and gave him the extra ten.
Before the day was over, God had given man ten years the donkey didn't want and a final ten that the parrots couldn't use.
That may explain why men have ten normal years of sex, ten years of lion about it, ten years of monkeying around with it, ten years of being an ass about it, and ten years of talking about it!
Answering Machine Message 60
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious".
The last request...
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.
The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden.
He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."
