38 Rock jokes to celebrate International Rock Day

International Rock Day, celebrated on July 13 every year, is all about paying tribute to rocks. Have some fun with jokes that Rock!

What do you call it when two carbons are in a relationship?
Carbon dating.

Why were the rock couple breaking up?
Because they took each other for granite.

Why did the rock couple break up?
Because they couldn't comet to each other.

My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks.
It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

What do you call a criminal rock?
Scum of the Earth.

Why did the rock decide to hit the gym?
Because he wanted to be bigger and boulder.

Where do the posh stones live?
Rockefeller Street!

Why did the rock sleep all day?
He was a bedrock.

How did the rock feel about going to jail?
He was petrified.

How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae?
He was lichen it.

You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.

Why did the rock shower every morning?
He wanted to start with a clean slate.

What did the stone want to be when it grew up?
A rock star.

What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.

Why was the rock unprogressive?
Because it was stuck in the Stonehenge.

Why was the rock hesitant to start his work?
Because he was stuck in corundum.

What did the rock do when it rolled down the road?
It rock 'n' rolled.

How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs.

Who is a geologist’s favorite comedian?
Chris Rock.

What is a geologist’s favorite treat?
Rock candy.

Why did the rock take English lessons?
To help it talk boulder.

What did the rock order at the bar?
Soda on the rocks.

Did you hear about the drunk geologist?
He finally hit rock bottom.

Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.

Why was the criminal rock acquitted?
Because his alibi was rock solid.

What is a geologist’s favorite type of music?
Hard rock.

Which magazine do rocks subscribe to?
The Rolling Stone.

Why didn’t the stone get back together with the rock?
He had too many faults.

What did Ariel say when she met the rock pool?
You have nice mussels.

Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.

What is rock's favorite fruit?
A pome-granite.

Why do hipsters like rocks?
They’re underground.

Where do you take an injured rock?
To the Rocktor.

Why did the judge find the rock guilty?
The lawyers had concrete evidence.

How do stones get to outer space?
By rock-et.

What kind of music sinks to the bottom of the ocean?
Heavy rock.

What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.

What did the young rock say about failing his tests?
I don't want to talc about it.