Axe jokes - to celebrate International Ax-Throwing Day

June the 13th is International Ax-Throwing Day! Check out some Axe jokes!

Why did the tree go to the barber?
Because it needed a trim and ax.

Why did the lumberjack break up with his girlfriend?
She had too many axes.

Why did the lumberjack become a musician?
He had a knack for chopping the charts, not just logs.

Why was the lumberjack at the computer?
He wanted to log in.

What does a tree say to an axe?
I'm falling for you.

Why did the axe go to school?
To become a little sharper.

How does an axe win a debate?
With cutting remarks.

Why did the axe go to the doctor?
It had a splitting head.

What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet?
An axe-ident.

What did the woodcutter say to the tree?
May I axe you something?

Do you hear about the lumberjack who lost his job today?
His manager just gave him the axe.

Why was the spreadsheet afraid of the chart?
Because it had multiple axes.

How can you tell that an axe thrower loves his assistant?
He always misses her.

What do you call it when you break your pick axe while working?
A miner inconvenience.

What's the difference between being a lumberjack and any other job?
You get the axe when you’re hired not fired.

Where does a lumberjack buy his axes?
At the Chopping Maul.

I was really disappointed when the axe I bought to climb trees with ended up being useless.
It was a total anti-climb axe.