Redneck Medical Terms

Benign - What you be, after you be eight.

Artery - The study of paintings

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

Barium - what doctors do when patients die

Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan - searching for kitty

Cauterize - made eye contact with her

Colic - a sheep dog

coma- a punctuation mark

D & C - Where Washington is

Dilate - to live long

Enema - Not a friend

Fester - quicker than someone else

Fibula - a small lie

Genital - a non-Jewish person

GI series - world series of military baseball

Hangnail - what you hang your coat on

Impotent - distinguished, well-known

Labor pain - getting hurt at work

medical staff - a doctor's cane

Morbid - a higher offer

Nitrates - cheaper than day rates

Node - I knew it

Outpatient - a person who has fainted

Pap Smear - A fatherhood test

Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative - a letter carrier

Recovery room - place to do upholstery

Rectum - darn near killed him

Secretion - hiding something

Seizure - a Roman emperor

Tablet - a small table

Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport

Tumor - one plus one more

Urine - opposite of you're out

Varicose - nearby / close by