The Top 13 Signs You're Not at the Real Senate Impeachment Hearings

13. Videotaped "deposition" consists solely of Sharon Stone

crossing and uncrossing her legs.

12. Judge Judy unleashes a stern tongue-lashing, telling

everyone to "just grow up."

11. Senator Moe's frequent outbursts of "Why, I oughtta..."

10. Presiding Judge is wearing four gold stripes. And

nothing BUT stripes.

9. Mandatory line dancing between votes.

8. Ten minutes into Hamburgler's testimony, you realize

"Mayor McCheese" *isn't* a tacky name for Bill Clinton.

7. 15 minute recess involves a slide and monkey bars.

6. Strom Thurmond just moved.

5. George Will is presiding over the hearings and the "Rip

Clinton a New Rectum" motion just passed.

4. No "Eau de Kennedy."

3. All testimony submitted in the form of a dirty limerick.

2. For $20, "Monica" allows anyone to play the part of

"Bill" during the re-enactment.

1. Only vote against impeachment? Senator John Bobbitt.