World Older Persons Day Jokes

On 1st October we recognize the International Day of Older Persons! Here are some jokes to mark the occasion:

An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her.
"So," he says, "Do I come here often?"

What is a prize old people can win for aging?
Atrophy.

I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together.
They lived to a ripe old age.

What’s the best part of old age?
That it doesn’t last very long.

These are not gray hairs! They are
wisdom highlights.

Which underwear brand do seniors love best?
It Depends.

Old age makes us great multitaskers.
I can sneeze and pee at the same time!

What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.

One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends …
because they can’t remember them!

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don’t mind getting older, then it really doesn’t matter.

Why do old people love English muffins so much?
All the nooks and grannies.

How is the moon like dentures?
Both come out at night.

Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me.
My knees, my back, my neck …

I’ve decided: Whatever age I am is the new 30!

What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.

I called the incontinence hotline recently.
They asked if I could hold.

Of all your children, the only one who won’t grow up and move away is
your husband.