Differences in how men a...

Differences in how men and women think

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish..........................49

Adventurous.................Slept with everyone

Athletic........................Flat chested

Average looking.............Ugly

Beautiful........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile............Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure..........On medication

Feminist..........................Large

Free spirit........................Junkie

Friendship first.................Formerly loose

Fun.................................Annoying

New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned..................No BJs

Open-minded..................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate.....................Sloppy drunk

Professional...................Bitch

Voluptuous....................Very Large

Large frame.....................Hugely Large

Wants Soul mate.............Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = No

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay