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Essex tongue

How to speak with an essex tongue!!

alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an?item

amant-? Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband? - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc.

awss- A? four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost

("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver? t'day")

branna-? More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

dan in the maff- Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit?dan in the


eye-eels? - Women's shoes

Furrock? - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij -? A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")

Ibeefa -? Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik- Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

oi oi! -? Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during? banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa -? The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband-? The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from? Craig")

Saffend? - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday

tan -? The city of London, the big smoke

webbats- Querying the location something or someone is ("Webbats is me dole card, Trace? I've? gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid -? 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is ("I told ya a fazzand times?already")?

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Yisman

#joke #policeman #animal #panda #sport
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
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