Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 02 July 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 02 July 2008

A little boy walks up to the p...

A little boy walks up to the preacher after church one day and says, "Preacher, when I grow up and get a job, I am going to give you a lot of money."

The preacher says, "Why do you want to do that?"

The boy replies, " Because my Daddy said that you are the poorest preacher he has ever heard."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (7)

A man and a woman are getting ...

A man and a woman are getting it on in bed when they hear the front door open. The woman says, "It's my husband! You'd better hide."

She throws his clothes under the bed and he hides behind the curtains. Her husband comes in, sees her all hot and sweaty, and the sheets all messed up. He looks around, and sees a big bulge in the curtains, and a pair of feet sticking out underneath. He whips the curtains open, and says, "Who the hell are you?"

The man says, "I'm the moth inspector."

The husband says, "Moth inspector? Why are you naked?"

The man looks down and says, "Damn. I'm too late."
#joke
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (7)

SLIDESHOW #41 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Any questions?

Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while.

"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.

"Yes," replies her daughter.

"Do you still have any questions?"

"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"

"In exactly the same way as with babies."

"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"

#joke
  • Currently 6.13/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (15)

How do you talk to a hen?
How do you talk to a hen?

By using fowl language.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

There was a guy walking ...

There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thaught it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!

The very angry looking Genie said, "Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!"

The suprised man said, " OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge house on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii."

The genie replied with a smirk, " Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it would take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen."

The man said with a smile, "Fine then, I want to understand women."

The genie stood silent for a few moments then spoke: "Would you like two lanes or four?"

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 6.20/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (5)

Why is a government worker lik...

Why is a government worker like a broken shotgun? It won't work and you can't fire it.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 7.14/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (7)

Deep Thoughts 06


I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, I hope they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that read, "I helped skin Bob."

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in some crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it would be like ambition.





#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (8)

Blondes Never Have Ice

Q: Why are blondes constantly running out of ice?

A: They forgot the recipe.

#joke #short #blonde
  • Currently 5.49/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (35)

Juicy Squirt

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

Cross-eyed dog

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes.

"Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down"

"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.

"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.

#joke
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (12)

BUT GOD.............!

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "Sorry...I didn't recognize you."

#joke
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (16)

Heaven and Hell

A young woman came home and told her mom that her steady boyfriend had proposed, but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell. "Marry him anyway, honey. Between the two of us, we'll show him just how very wrong he is."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (11)

Manage my anger

I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people could manage their stupidity.
#joke #short
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Hung Chow calls into work and...

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legshurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today.
When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex.That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.61/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (101)

Your car in heaven....

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will depend on your answer."

The first guy walks up and Peter asks him, "How long were you married?"

The first guy says, "24 years."

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?", Peter asked. The guy said, "Yeah, 7 times...but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter.

The second guy said, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year and we really worked it out good."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln."

The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!"

A few days later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk. When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

#joke
  • Currently 7.56/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (43)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.