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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 25 January 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 25 January 2009

Q: How do you...

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?



A: Put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner.
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 4.71/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (7)

"Send someone over quickl...

"Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!"

"This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department."

"No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (8)

What do you get when two peas ...

What do you get when two peas fight?
Black-eyed peas

#joke #short #food #peas
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (6)

A supermodel orders a pizza an...

A supermodel orders a pizza and the waiter asks if he should cut it into six or twelve pieces. She says, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (2)

Using Nails On A House


These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away.

He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end." The buddy gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those nails are for the other side of the house!"





#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

A blonde was on vacation in th...

A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didnt want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, Maybe Ill just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, Damn, this one isnt wearing any shoes either.
#joke #blonde #animal #alligator
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (5)

...

#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

A paperboy said to a customer one day...

A paperboy said to a customer one day, "Mr. Smith, I wish I had twenty customers like you."
"Gosh, that's nice to hear," said Smith, "but I'm kind of surprised considering I never tip all that well and always pay late."
The paperboy said, "I know, but I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is I have one hundred and forty!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 3.55/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (11)

Do you have the stones to say this to your wife

My wife was going through her wardrobe and said "Look at this, it still fits me after 25 years."
I said "It's a freaking scarf."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

Eiffel Tower jokes

It is Eiffel Tower Day today! The day marks the completion of the Eiffel Tower on this day in 1889!

I Tried To Climb The Eiffel Tower Once
But eiffel!

What do you call a tourist visiting the Eiffel Tower?
PariSites.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

You have met your New Year's resolution

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averageā€¦ which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
#joke #short #newyear
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

The following ad in the Atlant...

The following ad in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls:
"Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy."
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Labrador retriever.
#joke #food #dinner #eating #sport #hunting #fishing
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.56/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (16)

Fixing Broken Computers

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

Hunting With A Wife

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"
The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My wife."
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

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